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How strict are you?

At eight I expect a lot from my daughter.

I expect her to take care of her toys and things.
I expect her to do her chores and homework when told.
If she lies she gets in big trouble.
If I find a toy she has destroyed I toss it and don't replace it.
I expect her to be polite and address adults properly.

These are just a few things I expect. We are pretty strict in our house. I don't let her leave the house if she is not neat and presentable. If her chores and homework aren't done she doesn't play or watch tv. I know a lot of parents let their kids get away with a lot more than I do.

What do you expect?

Answer Question

Asked by Shaken1976 at 11:45 AM on Apr. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,288 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • i don't find you strict at all. you're simply trying to teach her to be responsible and reliable, about her possessions and obligations.
    my 6yo is taught the same..although, he doesn't have homework, yet. :)

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:46 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I expect the same things you do, but I also realize that because they are kids they are still learning self control. So when they do something against my expectations, I try to reinforce my expectations with love not anger. They are still required to follow the expectations, but I don't blow my top over things that are fixable.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:48 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • My son is 2. I can expect all I want but I'm lucky to get anything!

    In regards to behavior I expect him to not hit or bite, and not scream at anyone. With "chores" I just expect he pick up his belongings (with supervision). There are some other things we're working on but right now those I think he is old enough to do and understand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I was going to say, you seem like you have rules for your child to succeed in life. Nothing wrong with that.
    My oldest is 5. I let him play video games, watch tv or go outside before starting his homework. You know, let him unwind for a bit.

    Keep it up, you'll make something of your daughter one day!! =)

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 11:51 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I expect all of the above as well....

    Also, being a SM working full time, my kids have to come straight home, they need to call me if they go to a friends, and if that happens they need to be in the house and washed before we pray or they don't eat.
    I monitor the radio station, and we have no cable. it's an hour of game time T & Th, no games or computer after supper.
    I expect them to do their chores, and if they don't, they get no allowance.
    They need to keep their rooms, help with their laundry, and pick up after themselves.

    Answer by Amomand4kids at 11:52 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • My son is 3-1/2 and expected to act well in public, use correct words being please, thank you, excuse me etc. He knows to take care of his toys and has to put them away which we DO expect at this age. He is allowed to be a child and have fun and be silly, but I am hard on him lovingly also - I'd say we are stricter than most parents out there apparently.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:52 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • We do the same thing, and maybe a bit more. We have a 14, 8, and 7 yr old, and our 14 yr old said we are the most strict parents out of all of his friends. I was glad to hear it. We don't tolerate bad grades, bad attitudes, or bad behavior. We insist on please and thank you, and if other peoples kids are at our home, they are reminded to use their manners if they don't use them. It's a matter of respect. If you're in our home, you will treat everyone the way we treat you.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:53 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • We expect good grades as well. I know she can pull straight A's and expect no less.

    Comment by Shaken1976 (original poster) at 11:54 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I don't think that's expecting too much. I expect the same things as you do and don't consider myself strict. I do however consider myself firm. Once I've said no, I will sometimes give a reason for saying no, but I don't feel I need to constantly explain my actions to a child especially in situations where an explanation would be more confusing than a blunt 'no'.

    My biggest difference from your list and what I do with my own kids is that I allow them to play outside when my 9 year old gets home at 330. I do it this way for a couple of reasons - after 7+ hours at school, he needs that break. He has to come inside by 7 pm, and he doesn't go to bed til 9 pm. This allows plenty of time to get his homework done even if he fools around.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 11:55 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I'm pretty strict, but I've been trying to tone it down. I expect the kids to use proper manners, dress themselves neatly, pick up after themselves and help me with anything I ask them to do. God help them if they get caught lying or try talking back, because that's something I won't tolerate - instant discipline.

    It seems to be working pretty well, though the SKs were a little wary of me at first. My toddler is super polite, and SD is shaping up to be a lovely child. I'm still working on SS's manners, and he's a hellacious liar... poor kid spends a lot of time in his room with no toys or video games.

    Answer by applepieanarchy at 11:56 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

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