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How can I deal with this........

My DH and I view some issues with my DS (his SS) totally different. I was not an innocent teenager, I smoked pot religiously daily until I was in my late 20's, I know my DH did also. I know my son smokes it, not nearly like I used to, but he does, and not in my home(he made that mistake only once! LOL) I periodically talk to him about it, he does plan on stopping at some point. His relationship with my DH is horrible, and I will have to say it is my DH's fault for the most part, I don't think he was cut out to be the parent of a teenager. My son is 18, he is trying to get his diploma through an alternative school, and works regularly. But because of the pot, my DH, especially when he has been drinking, he is so nasty to my DS.......he says we are disfunctional because of the alternative school, and for a long time I refused to let him know I knew my DS was smoking weed (I really didn't want to hear the fights). My son is not perfect by all means, but he doesn't deserve the drunken banter my DH gives him. I am just so frustrated that my DH is angry with me because I am not pissed off at my son! He freaks out because I don't freak out if we see him at the neighbors most likely smoking..........I don't think it is a big enough battle to freak out over.......


Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You can inform your son about the hazards of smoking pot, but, he is 18. He can do as he chooses, and if you were to reprimand him for it, that would be hypocritical. You did it more than he does. But, your husband shouldn't be taking his drunken tirades out on ANYONE. When he comes home drunk and starts his shit, call the cops. They will make him crash elsewhere until he is sober. Keep doing it until A) the cops finally arrest his ass or B) he smartens up!

    Answer by Kari727 at 1:31 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • BTW, I don't smoke it anymore, and haven't for 1000 years...LOL

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:28 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • The more you harp on them they will continue to do it and it could lead to worse drugs.

    Answer by ELM95 at 1:32 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I would suggest counseling (for you all) and maybe drug classes for your son.... GL!!


    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:32 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I don't harp I just keep the lines of communication open. My DH and I do have a good relationship otherwise, he just has the huge wall when it comes to my DS...I sometimes wonder if it is because he reminds him of himself from back in the day???

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I would be pointing out to my husband his hypocrisy of getting drunk and giving his step son a hard time. Substance abuse is substance abuse whether it's pot, alcohol or anything else. So your DH is setting the example and sending the message that it's ok to get buzzed. I am guessing from your son's perspective he doesn't see much difference between getting high off pot or alcohol. If your DH wants to have a leg to stand on in being holier than though then he might want to knock off the drinking first.

    I have to say there's not much to be done about this since your son is 18, unless you're going to kick him out over it. He's going to school and working so that's good. No one wants to see their kid turn into a pot head, and on the other hand pots not exactly the same as shooting herion in a back alley. I would talk to your son about the importance of moderation and keeping his life of track. Good luck.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:50 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Sound to me like your DH is an ass of a man and you need to leave the relationship.
    Do you to have a good relationship otherwise.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:34 PM on Apr. 25, 2011