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2 Bumps

Im lost in discipline...

Ive felt like a pretty good parent up until recently.. It seems the more verbal my child get the more testy she gets. The more I find myself going "what should I do to that?"
- If I call her inside for going near the fence (dog on other side) she takes her slowpoke time getting in.
- In public she is listening less & Ive had to go to car a few times while DH finishes up (we go to a book store & she cant stop touching stuff & running around, refuses to hold hand, once we tell her we are going to car she will loudly say "Are you going to spank me, please dont spank me" (we rarely spank!)
-When her friends are over they all mess up the room, and at clean up time she will move very slowly- picking up a small handful of toys while the other kids clean most of the room.
-Backtalk- What do you do when you send a child to their room as discipline & they backtalk you otw to the bedroom?

She has always been very well mannered. Sweet. The typical wanting to please child. Or I could steer behavior in a better direction in a few days.
She is almost becoming a brat before my eyes & IDK what to do!
Advice? Help? Any good books on discipline a 4yo? (most ive read are for 3 & under)


Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • My 4 year old is the same way....actually she is much, much worse. I have even gone so far as to taking TV away (which they didn't watch much anyway). I actually talked to my daughter's pediatrician about it and she said that it is just a phase that she is going through. As PP said, consistency is crucial when you are punishing. (not just saying this for you, saying it for myself as well.) Good luck!

    Answer by MyLilClaireBear at 6:26 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • well just try different things like when you tell her to come in and she moves slow march her little but the store you need to go to car dont tell her just do it and put her in cart if in store with them.they also have the leashes for kids strap her then dont worry bout if she holds your hand.take control now your are the parent and its getting out of control dont let her rule you.oh and the friends and clean the room let all the friends stop and make her finish it

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 2:30 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • It sounds like you are doing things right.
    Do not respond to back talk. As pp says, don't tell her you are taking her to the car, just do it. Hold her hand firmly and don't let go.

    This is a phase, she'll (and you) will get through it. Just be prepared for whatever comes next!

    Answer by kjrn79 at 5:15 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • She (knowing it or not) makes a scene.. She doesnt want me to hold her hand & as soon as we head toward a door she knows & sometimes pulls back.
    I hate saying it but she just seems bratty sometimes.. "Im doing what i want to do!" attitude.
    Alone at home I am good at the discipline thing.. But the bad thing is I hate doing it in public. Or in front of family. and I think just maybe she has picked up on this & is taking advantage of it..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:25 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Yes you are definitely correct in your assumption OP. She is testing you. That's why I preach consistency!  Your method of discipline always needs to remain the same and consistent. 


    Answer by m-avi at 6:14 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • She's trying to gain control of her world and be her own person; hence the "I will do what I want attitude". Are there things you can give her more control over that she might not have already? Such as choosing clothing or give her a list of snacks, foods, etc and let her choose. Maybe if she feels more control in certain areas, she's less likely to act out in other areas?

    Maybe set limits for her that allow her to be "on her own", but still within the rules of safety, and make sure, ahead of time, that she is fully aware of the expectations, and consequences that will follow should they not be met. So, if you are out and about and she doesn't want to hold your hand, tell her she has to stay "x" amount of feet from you, and if she goes any further, she will have to hold your hand, or choose a consequence. If she wants to play outside, give her boundaries, and if she goes past them, she has to come in side, etc.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 6:17 PM on Apr. 25, 2011