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Have you lost "YOU" im being a mommy?

I have. I'm just a mom. I have been a vibrant red, short spikey hair for as long as I can remember, now I've let it grow out and quit dying it. I dressed sexy when I wanted too and didn't feel bad about it. Now, I don't ride motorcycles with DH anymore and I've become a "normal" mom in "mommy clothes"- as my cousin calls them. DH asked me about my style changing last night and when I told him the way I feel and how I don't know how to be anything but a mom to the boys that makes me feel I should dress like it. He informed I was to young to be dressing like his grandmother. I confided in him how jelous I was of my cousin who is older then I am and has more children then I do. She has become VERY comfortable being heselfr besides being just a mom. She still looks hott and turns head. So, am I the only one that has lost themselves? If you've been through this how did you deal with it??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Beauty & Style

Answers (10)
  • I grew a mohawk and started remembering I was a woman before I was a mom. I write and work and take care of my own business. You have to do those things for yourself to remember when your kids get older and start having friends and getting ready to do their own thing.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Nope. I can't say having a child hasn't changed my life drastically because I can no longer do certain things as I used to, my priorities have changed, and all my plans from now on INCLUDE my son but aren't always 100% about my son. Whatever I do I want to make sure it fits him and makes him happy but I still have hopes and dreams, and likes and dislikes, and thoughts and opinions, that don't revolve around being Mommy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I don't wear makeup as often but I am still me. If people want to judge let them! I will still dress up sometimes and show some skin, but we are getting older ( t sucks lol) but we are still hot mamas!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:55 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Number 1, if you call yourself *just a mom* one more time, you will have a time out young lady. Number 2, yes I have lost myself in motherhood many times. Trick is to be kind to yourself and when you realize that you are doing that, laugh at yourself and pull yourself out of it. Style is a fun way to do it. Good luck to you sweetie, you are not alone.

    Answer by ochsamom at 1:56 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • You're not alone but that doesn't mean you have to be lost in motherhood either.

    It's important to remember that motherhood is PART of who we are - not ALL of who we are. Don't get me wrong. My children are a factor in every choice I make. They are a priority. BUT, that doesn't mean I push aside *me* in favor of only *them.* I am a lot of things - I'm mother, wife, daughter, employee, friend, etc and so on. When I completely neglect one facet of me, all the rest suffers. Taking time to get your hair cut or wearing clothes you're comfy in and feel more "you" is NOT wrong. It's not focusing on "me" vs "us."

    Find a balance. If wearing your old stuff isn't conducive to crawling on the floors and being in the trenches (so to speak) find a variation of 'your' style that is. Get your hair cut - it doesn't have to be the same as it used to be if YOU want something different. just don't shove aside you now that you're mom.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • No, I never lost "me" the woman that I am to motherhood. Partly because I worked for the first 10 years of my son's life, so I still had to keep up appearances for the office (even when completely exhausted from being up all night with a fussy baby, Once I became a SAHM (when my son was 10) keeping myself put together had just become second nature, pure habit really. I also have made an effort for my 20 years of motherhood, to pursue activities that I enjoy, activities that make me feel good about me, activities that help me grow as a person. I also made an effort to have "me" time as much as I possibly could. Even if that meant staying up until 1am doing whatever it is I wanted (doing yoga, reading, mani/pedi..whatever). It's very easy to lose one's self in motherhood, however, I always tried my best to remember this: The only way I can be the best mom I can be. Is if I'm the best ME I can be.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • no way, I'm totally me.....

    Answer by TXColter at 6:39 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • i think most all caring moms probably do it at least a little bit. its ok just watch it and make sure you dont completely lose yourself forever and it is ok to be a mom and a woman at the same time or at seperate times you do definately need your own time still

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 11:42 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • It took me forever to get myself out of that stage...for me it was gradual, I started by taking care of myself more like I used to...things like working out, getting my hair cut etc...then I went shopping...then I started making some time for me at least once a month...I felt guilty about it all at first, but I'm def a better mom when I'm feeling like me and I've had a lil bit of me time. Good luck finding yourself again! BTW look through old pictures to help find some may not be THAT person anymore...but its always good to remember that you WERE a person even before you were a mom :)

    Answer by sbenbenek at 12:58 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Yep I sure have I feel guilty for saying it, but it is the truth.

    Answer by djavongirl at 9:29 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

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