Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Balancing husbands demands by older stepchild vs. our 3 year old and soon-to-be-born-baby....

My husband has two weeks custody of his 14 year old daughter over the summer months, and he is proposing going to see her (in a different state) for as many as three visits in July/August. Problem is, our baby #2 is due the end of June. He thinks it's unreasonable that I asked him to not be with her for the 4th of July, and then again for two weeks in early August. I do want him to see her, but leaving me with a brand new baby and a 3 year old seems a little unfair! How can I balance my needs (and our 2 childrens needs) and his as well?

Answer Question

Asked by vixenmama at 3:26 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (79 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • go with him

    Answer by serenitysmom20 at 3:28 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • can he go at a different time? maybe a different month?

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 3:29 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Can his daughter come to where you guys live rather than he go there? Wouldnt she like to see her new sibling and her 3 year old sibling anyway?
    My dh has older children (all teens) from a previous marriage..and they all came to the hospital to see thier new siblings when they were born and spent the night with us at our house..they are very close..
    I guess I just don't understand... :(

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:30 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • My first thought is can you go with him, at least for one of the visits? My 2nd thought is that perhaps he can postpone the 4th of July trip since that is so close to the new baby arriving so it's not really a good idea to leave you with a newborn and a 3 year old, and what if you are past your due date or there are complications and you need help with recovery, etc. Or what about if he takes the 3 year old with him on a visit and gives you some time with the new baby. He has a responsibility to all the children and to you, and at the same time if you were divorced from him you would want him to be making your two children a priority even though he had another family to consider, so try to find a middle ground that you can all live with. If he has to cancel a visit for this summer make sure his 14 year old knows that it is just for this year because of the new baby coming. Good luck!

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:30 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Why does he have to go to her?...that would determine how I answer.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 3:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Your not a military wife are you? We military wifes would not have issues with our DH's leaving us alone with 2 small kids For that sort period of time.
    Why can't she come stay at your house for those 2 months? Sounds fishy to me.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:14 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • You should go with him for some of the visits and he needs to change the one at 4th of July because that is way too close to your due date.

    Answer by CometGirl at 7:52 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.