Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do i feel this way?

My husband and I have a son who is about 2.5 and he is our only child and will be our only child...huband got the big V, we decided that we didnt want more children but talked about adoption later if we did decide we wanted more.... my sister is going to be having a baby girl in september and i feel like im missing out because i only have a boy and im sure if we had had another it would have been a boy too... adoption is still in the question but i think im a little jelous of her becasue she gets to have a girl and they plan on having more... i think i miss the baby stage...but i will get to see her all the time. my sister lives down the street... have you ever experienced this? sorry i didnt know where to put this...

Answer Question
 
jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 3:54 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • It is totally normal to feel this way. Just give it time and enjoy all you can with your new neice. :-)
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 3:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I felt like this.. we have our only boy also who is 3-1/2 and actually, my feelings come from me KNOWING I was having a girl in my heart so I was a bit disappointed for a couple days after the U/S finding out it was a boy.. so now sometimes when I hear of someone having a baby girl, I think awhh.... quiet,calm, cute clothes and I get sad I'll never get to know what its like to have a girl.. but as far as another child I know ONE is perfect for us and I love having my son more than words can explain, but I think sometimes when you have only one and no matter if it was a girl or boy, you wonder what the other gender would have been like to raise.. I was thinking last night I wish I could raise only children like 3 different times in my life time ( totally not possible but that's the only way I can think to explain it ).. i love the one on one and that I can focus on him and us..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:59 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I have always felt jealous of other women when they get pregnant or if I ever saw them with babies. Now I have a almost 3 month old and I find myself yet again feeling jealous towards pregnant women and babies younger then my son. I think it is normal. Maybe not to healthy (in my case lol) but normal. I think for me subconsciously I miss the whole pregnant stage and I miss the little bittiness of a newborn baby.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 4:01 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Yes, my son is 7 and I feel this way quite a bit, but more for what he is missing out on siblings. Not that he'll know the difference but yes, it will come and go probably for the rest of our lives. But then I wonder do the parents with multiple kids wonder what its like to have only one :)
    choco_mom

    Answer by choco_mom at 4:17 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I think it is totally normal to feel this way. If you think that you might want another child then I would start talking to DH now about adoption. Also wait until your sister had her baby. If when you hold the baby you get the urge and pull to have more children than you probably want another child.


    Good Luck!

    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:41 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.