My dd is eleven years old. Me and my dh have been raising her since she was a baby. He's not her dad, but he is a great step dad. Well my dd has been getting older, she has been asking me to meet her bio dad, so as a mom I did everything to find a man I haven't heard from since she was one. It didn't take me and her long to find him on fb. He said he wants to be a part of her life and I know that is why she wanted to find him. My dd has always had a lot of problems meeting new people but when she meet him for the first time, she was more then willing to accept him and his wife. idky. Her and him want things to happen over night but I'm scared to let that happen. What if he leaves her again. She's not a baby any more. I also feel like I took care of her for eleven years with no help from him, but now he wants me to share her. Around my dd I act like he doesn't bother me but every time he calls, it does. Why does he irritate me? I always know someday she would want to know who he is, but I never know it would make me feel the way I do, even though I would never tell my dd.
Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 4:45 PM on Apr. 25, 2011
here's the thing, if you make him pay child support he is going to want more in the way of visitation and that sort of thing. This is what I did. When my son turned 10 I told him about his bio father. He has never really wanted to get to know him although as he gets older he does ask more questions. I think what you have to do is let her talk with him. I know how hard this can be and I know you don't want her to get hurt. If he leaves again be there for her, don't say anything like "I knew this would happen." Just be there so she can talk to you and cry on your shoulder. Also, talk with your DH about how you feel and lean on him as much as you can. Lastly, maybe you could talk to you EX and see what he is thinking. If you aren't comfortable with that then just try not to let it bother you. You DD knows that you have taken care of her and I am sure that won't change. Good Luck!
Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:50 PM on Apr. 25, 2011
I know exactly how you feel and how she feels, for I was once in her shoes. The only thing you can do really is , try it! Take baby steps, "that ", you have control over.I met my father for the first time, around her age. I was excited and very interested in getting to know him but the newness, did wear off! Your daughter's situation may end differently, I don't know but to this day, I don't speak to him. I also know how you fee,l being that my daughters bio father made" somewhat" of an attempt to know her but that fell through as well. It's all in the person, I don't mean to discourage you, just letting you know , I do know how you feel. When her father did come around, I did feel jealous and overprotective like, "That's My Territory!" I did everything from the day she was born, now years later, you wanna play DADDY? It's hard, that's why I suggested "Baby Steps" for your sake and hers! Good Luck Mom!
Answer by anichols1 at 5:10 PM on Apr. 25, 2011
Answer by louise2 at 4:43 PM on Apr. 25, 2011
Answer by louise2 at 5:09 PM on Apr. 25, 2011
Answer by cheez1e at 9:44 PM on Apr. 25, 2011
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