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4 Bumps

BMom Providing Breast Milk?

In lieu of the Elton John story about having his son's BMom FedEx them her breast milk, I got to thinking about if that is something that might jolt the adoption world and maybe this becoming more popular in open adoptions.

Do you think that this should be more popular?

Would you (as a BMom or an AMom) have agreed to this?

 
AllAboutKeeley

Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 4:49 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Adoption

Level 33 (59,874 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I am an amom and I think it is a wonderful idea. Breast milk is so nutritious and healthy. I would not have asked my child's bmom to send breast milk because I would not want to offend her. But I would have been delighted if she had offered.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • The mother of Elton John's child is a paid surrogate and an egg donation. She's not a birth mother in the normal sense and I'm sure the fact that their relationship is a business one makes all the difference.

    It's an interesting question though. I wonder how how many birth moms would agree to this, I also wonder how adoptive parents would feel if the birth mom agreed to give breast milk if she were the one to breast feed the baby.

    Personally, I never had any milk to give.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • While pregnant last year and considering adoption, this was very important to me. This was one of the questions I asked PAPs and it influenced my decision greatly. If they were not willing to simply FEED the baby the most nutritious, illness-preventing food there is (especially given I'd be doing all the work), then it proved to me they were more concerned about their own needs to have a baby and ensuring that ties were severed (whatever that means) versus the needs of an innocent baby who deserves the same rights as anyone else.
    HereWeGoAgain9

    Answer by HereWeGoAgain9 at 11:19 PM on May. 10, 2011

  • I bet she's getting quite a bit of money from Elton John to do that.
    I think its a great thing..and if it works out that way and everyone involved agrees...thats wonderful.
    If I were to put myself in a Biomoms shoes that was giving her child up for adoption..and I had wanted it to be an open adoption..I do not think I PERSONALLY could handle expresses breast milk and sending it to the adopted parents. Just because I think it would make me even more emotionally involved with the child and it would be even harder to let go. :(
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I do think of her as a birth mother. I guess because when a woman carries a child for nine months, contract or not, that is a heavy emotional weight. I guess my question is not about the birth mother - that's the child's private business - but more like why heck advertise the milk your child drinks or from whom? It feels like an invasion of privacy to announce to the world where, how, and who provides the breast milk. Why do people care to know? Of course they can't bf as men. But truly I just can't help but feel bad for a woman whom the media could consider a professional wet nurse. Paid or not - doesn't make me think warm fuzzy thoughts. I support their intent and actions for being in the best interest of the child. I just wonder if shouting choices in the news is good for the kid.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:52 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • frogdawg - I completely agree. But, this is Elton John we're talking about here. Not only has everything he's ever done been publlic, but he's determined to be "out" on everything too.
    Everything about this child's life is going to be public. like it or not.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:03 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • :(. That is a not! It is one thing to post here, as anonymous non famous parents. Wow to sharing every last detail in the media. I have no beef with gay men adopting. But a little privacy would be great. I mean I have no clue if Sandra Bulluock bf, got breast milk flown in, or formula fed. I really have no clue much about her adoption of that child. I never thought about it - but I guess I prefer to notbknow the details.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:42 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • As an Amom, I would never agree to this. My twins were formula feed. Especially if the adoption is closed, the ties need to be cut, period.
    TALuke

    Answer by TALuke at 11:38 AM on May. 1, 2011