Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Can my ex really use my teenage antics to get custody of our children?

I met my ex when I was 14, we were BOTH awful as teenagers. Not conventionally awful, I got perfect grades and had no attitude towards my parents or anything, however during the nights I was awful... I used to sneak out, I did drugs and I met my now ex-husband at 14... Basically the insomnia that I had had my whole life made me able to stay up all night and then go to school and be fine... I feel so ashamed thinking about it.

Anyway... My ex and me met one night when I was 14, we had sex after being so drunk we couldn't think, then we got into a relationship then we got married 3 years later and our first child at 18 after he had got a stable job with his father's firm. I'm 26 now and after 3 children our relationship broke apart. He says he can stop me from getting custody as he has videos of me doing things I'd rather not think about, drugs, sex, etc etc... This was all BEFORE I had children but he says he'll tell the court it was after our first child. He has NEVER been a petty man but he's suddenly turned into someone I cannot stand at all...

I'm so scared I will lose my children. I have nothing to hide NOW, I am successful in business, I have a nice home, a car, no debts... I'd like to think I was compeltely stable.

Can he do this? I'm so scared.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think he's an idiot. I think anyone would be more likely to believe your side of the story. If his story is true and he was really concerned about his first child, then why didn't he do anything then? If it was such a bother to him why did he stay with you to have 2 more kids? Anyone with normal reasoning skills would wonder about that. Just get a good lawyer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:40 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • No he can't. What he is doing is called blackmail and illegal. My ex tried something similar and the judge wouldn't even hear of it.. good luck.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 6:44 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • course he cant, I mean if he has these videos the court is gonna realise well he was doing this shit too so what makes me think he'l get custody if he was doing what you were doing. We were all kids once and if your not doing that stuff now you have nothing to worry about..
    DawnLauren

    Answer by DawnLauren at 6:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I think he's bluffing and yes, blackmail is illegal.
    If it's sex and drugs, I'm sure HE's on alot of those vids too huh?
    mrsvixen

    Answer by mrsvixen at 6:55 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I'd be pretty surprised if he even had all of those videos now, all these years later. Don't worry OP, you childhood antics won't cause you to lose your kids, unless you were STILL doing those things. As one PP said, we were all kids at some point, and this IS illegal blackmail. Let him go into court looking like an ass...I'm sure the judge will call him out. Be strong love.
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 8:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Heck no he can't. And if he had those videos you were a minor! So technically it's child porn. And he is black mailing you and that also is illegal. He will just make his dumbass look stupid and send his own butt to jail. GL and don't let him make those threats, he is just trying to scare you.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 8:54 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • He is just threatening you. If he truely was going to do that, he wouldn't tell you his plans. It is blackmail. Call an attorney- be totally honest- and let him know what your ex is saying and see what he advises. I think it will make you feel better. :-) Stay tough and keep your chin up.....Good Luck...
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 8:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I would record him saying that shit to you and go see a lawyer.
    LadySaphira

    Answer by LadySaphira at 8:58 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • He's trying to scare you, don't let him. i wouldnt be surprised if he started using other scare tactics besides the videos GL believe in yourself!
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 2:15 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • He cant.you are innocent until proven guilty, without a doubt. He cannot prove that these were filmed after. You are more likely to be able to prove they were before. But most judges wont even hear of it. If they do, they will give you a drug test, make sure its blood (more accurate), and when it comes back negative, you throw it in his face, and take your children home.
    I wouldnt sweat it.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:24 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.