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Is love between a man and woman real?

I grew up as a lonely unloved child. I always longed desperately  for the time I was old enough to get married and have kids. I would get crushes on any boy who was nice to me as a teen. Of course the feelings were rarely ever returned. I would wake up every morning knowing I was one day closer to the day I would find someone who loved me. Now years later, in a loveless marriage I am beginning to doubt that love between a man and woman is real. I am sure I have an unrealistic view. Since I was so lonely I read romance books and watch movies. I keep telling myself that I know it's not real. Women are writing those books. Men don't really love women like how a book describes.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I fall in love with men, just basically in love.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 6:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I used to dream and cry while waiting to find someone who loved me the way I wanted and deserved. It took 2 marriages and divorces and alot of frogs, but I did find Mr Perfect and he's my soul mate. Don't give up, he's out there

    Answer by mrsvixen at 6:53 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I too had a lonely loveless childhood. I was married to a violent prick. Now, 12 years later I am engaged. I like totally freak when he gives me a card or flowers for no reason. He bought me stuff for Christmas-stuff my ex would never do. And I really think he loves me and I know I love him.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 6:53 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • This love is truly real, all you need to do is find the right man, I have been married for 39 years, and they have been 39 years with a man that I knew loved me more than I loved him, his devotion over the years has not faded, at 61, he still compliments me as being hot and desirable. On a daily basis I am told how much I am loved and physically expressed how much also, true love will stand the test of time, the rest will crumble.
    It is very real, it just hasn't happened to you yet, but get away from this loveless marriage and go find it.

    Answer by older at 6:54 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • yes it does happen. Rarely like the books but it is very real.

    I have been married twice and soon to be married a third. The first I married like you , to feel loved. He saw a meal ticket and screwed anything that would move, he stole money from me and beat me.
    The second, we had been together for 4 years and it was time to break or marry. We chose wrongly. We both are very type A personality. Leaders not followers. We butted heads often and he would fight dirty (mind games and say horrible things to make me feel less than a person). We have a wonderful daughter together and now divorced over a year, we get along better than we ever have. Almost friends.

    My soon to be third, in 46 days, is the most wonderful man. I can tell him my darkest secrets and desires...even the strangest things that I think of and he just says that I am as screwed up as he is. Cont.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:59 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • IDK, maybe I'm addicted to men. I seem to fall for the wrong ones. Not criminals, or unemployed or anything really obvious, but love comes and goes too much.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 7:00 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • If I get mad about something, he validates my feelings and then asks how we can fix it. I never feel less than perfect in his eyes.

    His main goal is to care for all of my needs. I come first with him. That way I dont' have to look out for number one...he is already doing that. I take care of all of his needs. He may not be perfect but he is my perfect match.

    Our friends say our story is epic.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:00 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Yes!It is. I too felt skeptical after I was in a loveless marriage. I made a personal decision to get out of that relationship & was very pessimistic,skeptical & felt~people who looked like they were in love must be faking it~
    First things first. I realized I couldn't be loved until I learned to love myself. So I found a therapist &did some emotionally hard work with her until one day I just felt different-I felt better...about life, about myself, about my past, but I still wasn't convinced that love was real. Sure I continued dating - I wasn't about to give up on it quite yet, but I got REAL choosy. I knew what I wanted,but more importantly what I didn't want. I drew a hard line in the sand on a few qualities that were deal breakers. If I spotted one, I was out! No more compromise. I now knew I deserved the best. Well, I can now say I am head over heals in love. You wont find it. It comes to you. Stop looking. Work on you!

    Answer by daylily888 at 7:02 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • i think alot of movies and books set us up looking for prince charming. life is not a romance movie and to expect it is unrealistic. im remarried after a horrible first marriage and even worse divorce. my husband is great. we have our ups and downs and arguments but even though he doesnt bring me flowers every day i now he loves me. he would give his life for me. today is also our anniversary. theres a good guy out there for you. be patient. it always happens when your not looking.

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 7:03 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • it is real, but PERFECT love isn't. In my opinion, we all fall but dont work hard to keep that love that we had in the beginning alive.

    Answer by BalooSkii at 7:14 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

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