Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He's so mentally abusive, I can't take it but, I don't know what to do.

I stay so depressed I can't find a job I have no money & 3 kids,He constantly is telling me i'm stupid,fat(156 & 5'5 ) ugly in front of my dd, If it weren't for them I swear I'd end it all.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Get out of there, seriously, do whatever you have to. If you're feeling this bad you really need to, is there any family you can go and stay with? This isn't good for your children and it isn't good for you either, think of yourself as that affects your kids, please. If you ever need to talk or rant then message me, good luck with all of this honey. seriously. Haley.x

    Answer by haleykarson at 12:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Don't stay because of the children. The abuse he gives you...he inturn is giving the children..
    Find a shelter...ask family...ask friends...dhurch....You should not stay in an unhealthy environment.
    It will be hard at first and probably scary, but it need to get done.

    Answer by Dannee at 12:58 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Call anyone and EVERYONE, get a phone book, call a Dr. office and ask for a phone number of a safe place you could go with your kids that will help you.....those places are out there...I just can't remember the name of it right now. If you stay in this...all you are teaching your kids is it is OK to let someone treat you like this....imagine someone talking to your little girl the same way you're being talked to and treated...maybe that will shed some light on it....and yes, it will be scary as anything you've ever faced, but it can be done. Be strong...think more of yourself than to be treated like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Heres what my friend did: She begain all the divorce and custody papers and hid them at her sisters. When all the papers were good to go, she left him and took the kids.

    If you are worried about leaving, get the paperwork going and a place to stay arranged and then call the police and tell them that you are going to be attempting to leave and that you fear something is going to happen-they will be able to come protect you and your kids while you leave. Or, if you are indesperate need right now, leave while he is at work, go to a crisis nursery or shelter.......good luck!

    Answer by Tricia19 at 1:31 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Go stay with your parents for awhile if possible. He may turn physical and you definitely do not want your daughter seeing him beat you. If he gets himself into counseling, maybe you can work through it, but don't stay for the kids, that's never a good reason.

    Answer by feesharose at 2:42 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Abusers say what they know will deplete your self esteem and keep you under their control. I wish I was your size! That certainly isn't fat. The stupid and ugly part is coming as a reflection of how he sees himself and he's tranferring it to you. It's how these guys get away with what they do. They sound so convincing. The words might be true but the person is wrong. He should be saying them to himself and not you. You are NOT stupid, fat or ugly. He envies you. You are strong and he's trying to tap your strength and keep you under his thumb. BTW, you are teaching your dd that it's normal to be treated like that by a man so I'd keep on looking for a job. I'd call the domestic violence shelter and see if they can help you get a job and a new home. Start the new year with a new life free from abuse.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:44 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • First of all You are NOT fat!! I lived w/ my ex for 16yrs w/ the same mental abuse.. He tells you that to make you feel bad and he is doing a good job at it.. DON'T BELIEVE HIM!!! How old are your kids?? Do you want them to think that this is the way women are suppose to be treated? Do you have any close friends? Family members? You need to get away from him and stay away!! Look for shelters, churches whatever you have to do to GET OUT!!! You'll see once you get out it was worth it to get out and have a real life.. pm me if you want to talk.. I've been there.. Good luck to you!!

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 3:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2008


    Use this link. I hope this helps you & your children. There is a better way to live. I know because I have lived both ways. I sought help at our local women's crisis center set up specifically for victims of domestic violence. Crisis centers have everything you need to start a full free from abuse life. There is no charge for their services. If your kids grow up watching him act like this they will either become like him or choose people like him for a mate. Google " Dynamics of domestic violence." There is a ton of info out there to explain the cycle of violence in a home & yes emotional abuse, mentally abusive behavior is domestic violence, some of the worst kind there is. There is help in your community. It is not easy to break free, but well worth the effort.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.