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2 Bumps dad actually brought up something today.....and i would like to know what you would do

i was talking to my dad today (he's not mad at me from yesterday anymore) and i told him how my boyfriend wants to buy a plaster belly thing to make a mold of my belly for my baby shower so everyone could sign it, then all of a sudden my dad tells me that my boyfriends mom bought me shirts yesterday because she didnt like that i wear some what tight shirts over my 5 month pregnant belly, and im like ok my belly my clothes ill wear what she buys me but im still gonna wear my tight shirts and show off my bump,then he tells me not to let her tell me how to raise the baby and then he gets to me talking to my boyfriend about it

so my question is
how would you talk to your s/o or boyfriend about their thoughts about parenting?
im not very good at talking about those sorts of things and it takes me weeks to think of maybe 2 questions to ask my boyfriend, my dad brought that up because he wants to make sure me and my boyfriend dont end up like him and my mom

Answer Question

Asked by Lizzypuppylove at 7:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,800 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • A little late to be bringing up how you two are going to raise the kid when it is already on it's way . IMO

    Answer by louise2 at 7:55 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • well we didnt have time to talk about it before i got pregnant....i mean we did a little bit but we haven't talked in detail about it

    Comment by Lizzypuppylove (original poster) at 7:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Rather than think up questions. Start making a list of the things that you feel are right on how to raise a baby.

    breastfeeding, disipline, spankings, formula feeding, holding or wearing baby, co-sleeping, vaccines. How do you feel about these things and then talk with SO about how he feels on them.

    XH and my biggest problem was that he didn't want me holding our baby as he felt that at 2 weeks old, she knew that if she cried, she would get picked up. he wanted total control over how I raised her even though he had been around babies very little and I have 12 nieces and nephews and all of them are only 5-9 years younger then me.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:58 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • oh ok thank you :) ill start making a list then

    me and my boyfriend have talked about breastfeeding already and if he would care if i did it in public but thats about all we got into since it is kinda hard for me to think of stuff like this lol

    Comment by Lizzypuppylove (original poster) at 8:02 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I think JadeMom07 hit it on the button!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 8:03 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • You need to decide who is going to have what responsibilites when it comes to household, income, and baby as well. Add religion to the list, when and who can babysit, how you will handle parental advice from others........

    Answer by Kimedbs at 8:06 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Jade's mom has a good idea. There so many hot topics (esp. on Cafemom) you could even just try that as an opener... I was reading on CafeMom about ______ what do you think about it? Or about the diff books you are reading about the babies first year etc. "the book says ____ what do you think?"

    There are soooooo many posts and things and there are many decisions that you guys are going to have to think about how to approach toghether.
    I'd say discpline styles is often a deal breaker.... go ahead and talk about the values you want you child to have, about what rules you may want and how you guys may want to handle discipline. Phrases or words etc. Carseats, circumcision, hair length, when or to what extent allow you child to choose their clothes, food, time out vs. spank... if spank under what circumstances etc.
    start opening those doors for discussion NOW so that when the time comes you've already practiced talking to

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:08 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • :) thank you all

    lol i hate not being able to talk about this stuff, but ill talk to my boyfriend on the phone tonight about some things and get into more detail on Wednesday when we go to the doctor :D ^.^

    oh and trust me i made sure our religious beliefs dont clash(were both atheists in one for or another) his family is Catholic, we talked about baptisms, and my family is christian and dont really know if my family does anything special since there hasn't been a baby in the family for 11 years

    Comment by Lizzypuppylove (original poster) at 8:12 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Well if its your first baby unfortunately you can talk/ask all you want about what the others plans are, but they are usually out the window once the baby gets here. You and your boyfriend will end up working into your own groove with the baby being at the center of everything. But talking about things never hurts.

    Answer by Genice6 at 10:05 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

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