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Was this woman coerced into giving up her son?

A mom gave up her 18 month old adopted son because she didn't think she was a good enough mom and after talking to the social worker who found another family. Was she coerced?

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33089578/ns/today-parenting_and_family/

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (9)
  • i don't think someone can be coerced into giving up their child. that woman must have considered the idea. no one can coerce me to give up my kid, i don't care how convincing of a motivational speaker they are.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:40 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I read the article and it does not sound like there was any coersion at all-it was her idea and she made the decision before contacting anyone about it. Naturally she had doubts and second thoughts about it but realized he had problems she just was not able to cope with nor was the rest of the family. It sounds like the little boy went to a home where they were better able to deal with his problems and he has a sibling with similar issues. It is sad that this little boy had such a rough start in life that led or contributed to his problems to begin with but it sounds like he is now in a home where he can get the guidance that he needs and hopefully will be able to live a productive life.
    confused969

    Answer by confused969 at 7:38 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • It seemed more to me that the social worker was being supportive to the mother and trying to help her work through the feelings she was experiencing, not coercing her. Although, and I could have read it wrong, but it did seem that the social worker found a family before the mom was mentally ready for that step.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:57 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I watched the video and read the transcript. I saw no evidence of coercion. In fact, I got the impression that she was encouraged to stick it out. Nonetheless, she had tried to parent the child and realized she could not, something I wish all people considering giving up their children would do.

    I feel horrible for the poor, poor, little boy. I do hope that the family he is in now will be his forever family, and I hope this mother never adopts again.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I don't believe she was coerced into giving him up. She got into a situation she couldn't get herself out of easily. Adoption is not as easy as some people think it is and adopting a "messed up" child is even harder. I got Alex at 3.5 and there were plenty of times that I wanted to just give him back to his grandparents because I couldn't deal anymore. He was a lot more trouble than I though the would be. But, he is doing 1000% better in these almost 4 years and I am glad I didn't give up but, I will never adopt another child over 1 year old (unless something happens to my sister) for the rest of my life.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:44 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • She wanted to give him up. I hated the comment on the article where the lady said that "you can't fix broken children" and that she'd given up on her adopted daughter after 6 years.
    AmourSpork

    Answer by AmourSpork at 10:40 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I don't believe any could coerce a mother to give up their child. That is hogwash.
    TALuke

    Answer by TALuke at 11:43 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • No, I don't think so.
    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 12:39 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I have conflicting thoughts here. No, she was not coerced, in my opinion AT ALL. Had it been here biological child, would she have given up after 18 months? Would she have stuck it out and learned to bond, or stuck it out because she "had" to?
    Adoption absolutely SHOULD be about the best interest of the child. In this case, the baby was abandoned and adoption was necessary. Maybe she should have stuck it out longer and made the commitment that you are his mother, you do whatever it takes. I know if it were one of my children (and I only have bio kids), I'd stick it out NO MATTER WHAT. But then, best interest of the child pops up again...if she knew she was not the best mother for him, placing him for adoption, especially before more time passed, maybe was the best decision. I just don't know, but I wish I could hug that sweet little boy.
    HereWeGoAgain9

    Answer by HereWeGoAgain9 at 12:24 AM on May. 11, 2011

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