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What do I do when my 14 yr old son wants to wear girls clothes?

my son started wearing his sisters' clothes around the house when he was 4 and when it didnt seem to "go away" at age 8 we visited a psychologist. she suggested we let him continue to express himself at home but I wouldn't let him wear dresses, etc. to school or out of the house (for the most part). he seemed fine with this and I just took it as a side of his personality he liked to express. but as he got to age 11 or 12, he wanted his own clothes and I reluctantly allowed this. (still just at home). now I can see that he is identifying more and more as a girl. when I ask him if he wants to be a girl, he still says no, but I'm not sure he was being honest. When he started experimenting with make up at 13, I bit my tongue and helped him even taking him to have his ears pierced. most of his school friends don't know about this. He's started asking if he can wear his girl's clothes and makeup out of the house. This terrifies me. We're going on vacation in a few weeks and he keeps asking if he can wear his girls clothes on vacation since we'll be out of state away from anyone we know. I'm the most liberal free-spirited person you can imagine, but this really scares me and I don't know what to do. What do I tell him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • I say let him , its going to be hard on you since you are his mom and you dont want to see anything bad happen to him but he is growing and wont always be at home i hope you enjoy your family trip.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • He might not be ready to tell you if he's transgender or maybe he just likes crossdressing. Either way, I think it's really important that you support him, unfortuately, this behavior is something that will get him picked on, and knowing that he has a family that loves and accepts him as he his can make a world of difference.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:16 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Yes just let him. support him let him know you love him no matter what b/c Gypsymamma is right he will be picked on.
    ZeenaS.Muh

    Answer by ZeenaS.Muh at 1:32 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Support him.
    And let him do it....

    If he doesn't mind being picked on (and it will happen)...let him do it.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 2:14 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Let him express himself and support him in doing so. As a previous poster said, he will get picked on mercilessly by his peers, and he needs to know that his family supports him.

    He may be transgender, but have more living and soul-searching to do before he makes that decision. Or he might end up settling for androgyny. Either way, love and support him through it all and let him be himself =)
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 5:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Wow. I can understand how that's really a tough one, but I say support him. I allow my 15 year old daughter to wear boy's clothes, but unfortunately there's a double standard there and somehow most people regard a boy wearing girl's clothes as being much more offensive. My daughter has said to me many times, "I don't care how butch I look, this is how I feel comfortable." I'm guessing this is the same deal with your son.

    I could be wrong, but I've heard that many cross-dressers are actually heterosexual, and in some cases not even transgendered. But, he is young and still probably exploring. That's what kids do at that age. Some days my daughter is gay, some days she's pansexual...you get the idea. It's easier said than done, but I think it's worth remembering that 'boy's' and 'girl's' clothes are arbitrary designations based on our culture and your love for your son is anything but arbitrary. Good luck to you and your son.
    lytate95

    Answer by lytate95 at 11:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • He could be transgender. Does he express the want to be a girl? There is nothing wrong with being transgender or cross dressing. My husband regularly wears women's clothing out and about.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 1:10 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • i say let him be him
    mommyof3-2008

    Answer by mommyof3-2008 at 12:14 PM on May. 19, 2011

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