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2 Bumps

Am i the only 1 who hates dead beat dads?

Where do i start!!! On easter my son got dedicated and afterwards we had dinner at golden carrol. why my family was the only people there for my son. the only ppl from his side of the family was his dad. i was really upset cause 1 that was my son's 1st easter and he got dedicated lik it was his day ugh. his dads mom basically lied saying she was goin 2 NC with her family but when she called while we were eating she was home laying in th bed. i was lik wtf u couldnt just say u didnt have the money 2 come eat. we could of paid for it. she acts lik she has so much money when she doesnt. lik she just went an bought a new truck that she cant afford. Then on top of that his dad said he was gonna come over and see him lik around 6 and never showed no call txt or anything. he basically said he was sorry he stressed out. but my thing of it is im stressed each and everyday but never but my son on the back burner. 2day i took him to the doc he has another ear infection in the same ear. i asked u coming today cause he is really not himself. he came up wit a bs lie and said he need an oil change really bad and cant mak it up the street. every1 we stay 5 minutes (driving) away from each other. there is no damn reason why he doesnt c his son everyday or every otha day... But he wonder y every time he ask 4 money i dnt give it 2 him cause he wont help wit the baby and treats me lik crap.
Sorry i had 2 vent and some up some things.
Now what i have decided to do is no more calling or anything. if he wants 2 c his son or c how he is doing he will find a way 2 get in contact with me. His own friends told me to do this then he will think he has lost the both of us and will start 2 change his ways. i love my family and want us together but some shit has 2 change before i can marry him. i dont wanna be a sad wife wishing i said no and did things differently.
No bashing plz..if u have advice plz share or if u have through this... just needed 2 vent

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • Nope, my kids haven't seen or heard from their father in two years. A few years ago, my kids took their frist communion. My ex called the sister of the church because he thought I was lieing to him about the times and because id ask for our dd a few hours early to get her ready in her white dress, ect. Him and his gf showed up, but I never saw him & he did not stick around for pictures. His lose.. he's skipped the state and hasn't paid child support or contacted the kids again his lose. The kids are old enough to make their own judements about him I never had to bad mouth him. He's done this all on him own.
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 12:27 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • wow...im so sorry
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:31 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I've learned that most of the things my ex did was to hurt me and never really affected the kids. He's jabbing at you by not showing up because he knows it will upset you. Your son is still young and doesn't even reaize dads not there. And that it takes two to argue and fight. My best solution was to kill him with kindness, as long as he knows he can push your bottons he will continue. As long as your son is safe and being cared for that should be your only concern. Don't let him pull you into his games. Its hard and it took me awale to figure this all out. But stop sinking to his level and he won't have anyone to argue with therefor no need to agrue or start crap with you. I've been served by the police three time on crap he and his girl friend made up, the law told me they had to take him complaint but to just laugh at it. Hang in there... good luck...
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 12:53 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My suggestion is to never, ever, marry this guy. You will be the sad wife. I'd just ignore him and if he decides to be around then he'll be around. It's better for your son to not get too attached to his dad just for mr deadbeat to disappear later on. I have been given this same advice. My sons dad is only around when it's conveinent for him.
    FroggyFeet

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 1:03 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • thank u guys...this means a lot..really hope i can follow through
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:06 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Nope I hate them too! My father was one. Thankfully my DH is a wonderful father to our children.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:58 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • like 95% of men are dead beat dads my kids father is and it sucks for my kids but i think its better that way. do you really want that type of role model for you kid? my advice is dont marry him hes most likely not going to change his ways
    stormystar15

    Answer by stormystar15 at 2:38 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • You are not the only one who hates deadbeat dads. Those are just boys who can't face men responsibilities.
    MyPassionDiva

    Answer by MyPassionDiva at 2:42 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My best advice get you a lawyer and get him set up on child support through the state! You can get full custody (keep track of how often he asks to see kid and what money he gives you up until the court date) and have him pay child support. If its through the state most of the time even if they don't pay throughout the year when they get their income tax federal and state will send it to child support and it be sent to you. Oh and yeah definitely don't call and ask if he wants the kid. Honestly, unless he's paying you something or calls and asks I wouldn't inform him of anything going on with your son. If he can't call or text to see how things are going then he doesn't care (trust me been there done that).
    ramita

    Answer by ramita at 2:48 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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