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How do I dicipline my son without getting to the point where I get really mad?

My son is a year old and 7 months...he can be a hassle and at times he throws little tantrums that I don't like. What can I do to change that and make him a good kid without needing to hit him?

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Babygirl760468

Asked by Babygirl760468 at 2:37 AM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • u should take time mommy time outs and breathe. the time outs could be used to calm down and regroup...
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 2:41 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • You don't need to hit or use any form of "discipline". Children (and adults) choose to do what they do because they want to. The pros outweigh the cons, as it were. If you want to encorage your child to do certain things, then make those choices more attractive to him. If you want to discorage other behaviours, make them less attractive as options. You don't have to be manipulative. Just think about life through his eyes. Try to understand why he does what he does and listen to what motivates him.

    I have 6 kids, ranging from 2 up to 20 and never spank or try to control them. My philosophy is to nurture and teach, to love and respect. And I tell you our home is filled with fun and happiness, not arguments or fights.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:45 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • At that age, your son is naturally eager to please. All you have to do is smile when he makes you happy, cuddle him when he delights you, and pleasing you will become a motive to do what makes you happy.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:47 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I haven't tried that cuz for me it doesn't work. I just get really frustrated when he cries for a long time. Thing is...if I do hit him or scream at him I feel bad afterward cuz I know he's just a baby. But I know he needs dicipline or he will just do what he wants and the tantrums won't stop. I just want a suggestion that I can try towards him.
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 2:47 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Try to rethink your philosophy a bit too. You are not "making him into a good boy", you are nurturing him to become the best person he can be. Don't think control. Think love and support.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:49 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Don't let him cry for a long time. Give him cuddles when he's sad or angry or frustrated. He's just little. He doesn't understand his own emotions well enough to control them. Life is very confusing to a toddler, and he needs a lot of love and understanding. Little kids are not born manipulative. They are just overwhelmed by their own feelings and frustrated at not being able to do things and communicate what they want.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:52 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Hey Judimary...if I don't use any form of dicipline then what do I do??? If I do change that..his dad is still the problem. He was raised the really harsh way and he said he learned...so he wants to do the same with our son. Except I don't like that..my mom never hit me so I don't want to raise my son that way. But if I dont do anything just cuz he's a baby then he'll never listen to me. He's pretty smart for his age....he knows I'll give him what he wants if he says please or he'll give me a hugg...but when I say no he starts crying and wont' stop..that's when I get frustrated and I'll give in.
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 2:53 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Hmm, he does sound like he's learned some tricks on how to get his way. You do have to say "no" sometimes and he will learn that no means no, but you don't have to hit or discipline. If the "no" makes him sad, let him cry, but don't punish him for being disappointed. Give him cuddles and explain why you have to say no this time or in this circumstances.
    It is hard when you and his dad are not on the same page regarding discipline though. You and he need to have a long talk about this before you make it impossibly confusing for your son. But before you have "the talk" make sure you know what you want and you can make your case otherwise he may not listen.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:58 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My little boy is the same way. It's just early terrible two's. When he shows out we don't let him watch any Nick Jr. for a day. Maybe try taking something away from him like that. Maybe a toy or something? You can use self control so that you won't get too angry.
    tiffanynichols

    Answer by tiffanynichols at 3:01 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Yeah. Well actually its the other way around. When I say "no" he gets mad and sometimes wants to hit me. (about the hitting..thats another story....I've been trying to take that habit away cuz I didn't teach him that.) I've tried that before..I say no and hugg him and suggest we do something else but he gets mad. Yeah we've talked about that already. He says he'll learn that way but I don't like it.
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 3:02 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

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