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2 Bumps

How does someone just walk away? (vent)

We've tried counseling, I've tried talking to DH....
I just want to walk away. I've been unhappy for the longest time, and I don't cry when I think about it. I mean, it sucks. Who honestly wants to say "I'm divorced".

There are so many things that I just don't want to patch up. He's abusive...mentally, verbally - (use to be physically). He's so mean to our DD. He's horrible towards me. I've ask for a divorce, and the only thing I get is "til death do us part". I also get all kinds of mean things said to me...like, when he yells at our DD he'll say "well you married me, you should have thought about all that when you took your vows"...ect.

Does he not think I won't divorce him? Just because we took vows, obviously, it doesn't mean crock to him. He plays mind games, not only with me, but our 2 yo DD.

He will pick on her...enough to piss her off, then when she starts screaming at him. He'll start with the discipline. Yelling, screaming, spanking...I play referee, constantly. Everything is always my fault, or our DD's.

I'm ready to find someone else, someone that will appreciate me and my daughter. Actually, spend time with her. I want someone who will love me and her.

I'm so unhappy. I know I'm whining. However, I do have a job interview on Thursday...please pray for me to get this job. If I get it, it's God's way of saying "leave". (as crazy as that sounds.)

Will update on Thursday!

Answer Question
 
Chloesmom1126

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 2:49 AM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • (((HUGS)))) and prayers being sent your way. I think that the biggest thing you need is to focus on you and on your daughter, on leaving someone who mistreats you and your child (which to me is an absolute deal breaker on ALL vows...you mess with my kids and I mess with you...PERIOD!) and on getting your life on track and when the time is right you will meet the person who will treat you and your child with the love and respect you deserve. Don't worry about finding that person now. Be strong and take care of your child and of yourself. Those vows your husband wants to throw at you say love, honor and RESPECT which he is not showing. Good luck with your job interview!
    tracylynnr31767

    Answer by tracylynnr31767 at 3:21 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • After reading the first couple lines, I was thinking, "WHAT is she waiting for?" I understand you don't want the divorce label, but you didn't marry knowing his abuse was part of the package! Now your poor daughter has to put up with his crap! Believe me, a person like him will change the person "she was meant to be" and I can see that's not what you want. I hope you get that job, but if by chance you don't , do whatever it takes to free yourself ! Hang in there mom!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 6:17 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Hugs!!!! Good luck with the job interview!!! I think you are right to leave him, he sounds like an abusive jerk and you and your DD do not need to put up with him and his attitude! If it were me here is what I would do-- get a job and save up some $, consult a lawyer and find out what my legal rights are, find a place to live, and start packing up mine and kids stuff and slowly move things out.. then when I had all that done I would tell the jerk I am divorcing him and walk out the door!
    I wish you luck!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:54 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • He's an abusive jerk to both you and your child. Other than "till death do you part" he doesn't remember any other part of his vows. I'd google them print them and underline all the ones he seems to have forgotten and leave them for him to find when he came home to an empty house.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:08 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I'm really super sorry to be bluntly honest but i do not think you should get a divorce. do the vows mean anything to YOU!?
    Try EVERTYHING from couples counseling to forgiving to writing him letters...
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 3:21 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I walked away. It was the best for both of us.
    MyMyOhMy

    Answer by MyMyOhMy at 12:34 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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