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4 Bumps

Is it bad that i.....

have to constantly remind myself not to make smart comments or anything nasty about my stepkids' mom? As in previous posts lol i have mentioned she is a coo coo who has supervised visits and dh has custody. I just feel bad for the kids when she makes empty promises to them and also tries to demonize their dad. I also resent her for the reasons she lost her kids. I've tried many times to empathize you know level with her and try to see things from her perspective. It must be heartbreaking not to have your kids no matter what you've done. But i am just unable to put myself in her shoes so to speak. I don't want to spew poison about her one because she is their "mom" and 2 because i have heard that it usually backfires on the parent that does that. So literally when they get home from a visit and start talking about some crazy promise she has made i say to myself "be nice be positive they'll figure out her wickedness on their own" over and over lol


Asked by Genice6 at 9:31 AM on Apr. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • As much as it kills you thats about all you can do. B/c the first time you tell them well it might not happen is when it's gonna backfire on you. I have been thru the same thing with my sons dad. What i do is plan on doing something on the supposed day that this "promise" will happen just in case and my son had something fun to fall back on. Im not saying take him somewhere every time b/c that can get expensive. More like plan on spending the day doing something nice for them. And trust me my son is nine and he has finally come around to the fact that dad doesn't keep his promises. Also know that later on down the road they will look back and remember just who did.

    Answer by amberpaiz at 9:35 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • At least you make the effort to hold your tongue!

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 9:39 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • yes it normal to have to bite your togue even when you the primary parent (like me) and the kids come back from a visit with dear old dad....just remeber the kids will get to a time when they relize dear old mom never was a good mom and you and your SO where wonderful parents to them........

    Answer by cara124 at 9:47 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I am not a step parent, I am a custodial parent and it is very hard to not bash the kid's dad. you just have to remember that they have to learn and decide on their own about their parent. They will see the light but if you push it but always want to know if it was just because of what you said and if you were right or they just assumed you were right.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:35 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Your feelings are normal as long as you dont say them outloud to your children or around them.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:01 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I have much respect for you for being so concerned with keeping it quiet. So many just say what they want. Good job MAMA

    Answer by alligurl186 at 12:45 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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