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Does YOUR child call their step father "daddy?"" Whats his reaction?

My son called my Dh "papi" which means daddy in spanish yesterday, and he completely ignored him! He said he wouldnt make it a big deal, bc right now it has no meaning to it, in the sense that they are saying it to get a reaction, but if the time came and they called him Dad, then he still wouldnt make a big deal of it. I dont know, it bothers me that he doesnt embrace them. My boys are 3 and 4, and their dad wans NOTHING really to do with them, so I really wish my dh would be more open to it... ):

I have NEVER once pushed them to call him "dad" but when they do, I tell them not to bc of his emotionless reaction...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Apr. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • yes, i would not have married a man that didn't love my kids as his own. its one thing if the child doesn't want to call their step-dad "daddy" but entirely different if the step-dad is uncomfortable being called "daddy" by his step-kids. IMO you are a package deal.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:23 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • i should add, every situation is different. it also depends on the relationship they have with their bio-father, their age, etc. my oldest is 4 and my husband is not her dad. but he's her only known father figure and she's been calling him "daddy" since she was 2, he was actually proud to have earned the title.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Thats how I feel as well.. He says that in time he will learn to love them more. That he will never truly love them the way he loves his REAL children... That kind of hurt. He says Bio children have a different kind of love, that I would never really love his children like my own, that its not the same... It kinda hurts to hear that..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My son has been raised by my DH since 1 and he is now 8 and calls him dad!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My son called my roommate daddy once, when my roommate and I were dating a year ago. It was a different situation though - his dad and my roommate have the same first name, so I'm pretty sure that was why he accidentally called him that.
    I would never want a partner of mine to be called "Dad" or any variant of it by my son. I have a real problem with people posing as parents when the kid already has a mom and a dad. I've never called any of my step parents mom or dad, no matter how much they act like one.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 11:26 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My Husband isn't the biological Dad to our 3 boys, but our boys chose to call him Dad on their own. My Hubby said it made him so proud, and privileged to be called Dad. He never once told them to, nor did I, so it meant a lot to us that they felt comfortable enough to do so. My Hubby takes his job as a parent very serious. He will be legally adopting our eldest son soon. Our younger 2 see their bioDad on a regular basis, and he's fine with our 2 calling my Hubby Dad. We all feel the more they know they are loved by all of us, and we can get along, the better they are for it.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:26 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I started dating my husband when my dd was two. We got married shortly after she turned 3. It was a spur of the moment JP kind of wedding. (Long story). We picked her up at daycare and she looked at our rings and said...."I guess you are my daddy now." She has been calling him Daddy ever since. Her bio father hasn't seen her in 8 years now.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Yes and he loves him just as if he's his biological son I wouldn't change one thing about it any step father that don't want that two thumbs down also that showing he's doing something right

    Answer by wannabeproud at 12:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My son was 13 mo old when i started dating my hubby. Before we were engaged Hayden began saying dada directly to him. I apologized and tried to turn Hayden's attention but Todd said it was ok. That if he had impacted that little boy enough that Hayden saw him that way then it was ok with him. Hayden still calls him daddy (we have been married 3 yrs) and calls his bio daddy or gabe daddy.. or just gabe whatever he feels like. I have never pushed him to call one or the other dad as I feel it is his choice and it shows who he thinks of as his daddy.

    Answer by alligurl186 at 12:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My youngest daughter used to call my dh (her stepdad) dad and at first he was a little taken aback because her dad is in her life so my dh felt a little awkward because he knew how he would feel if his kids (eventhough they live with us) called someone else dad. Eventually he just went along with it but her dad ended up speaking with her about it and she stopped calling him dad but you know slips now and then. But if their dad isn't in their life i would really ask your husband why he reacts the way he does.

    Answer by Genice6 at 11:07 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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