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I found out

my husband lied to me about something. nothing big or anything i would really get mad at. but he said he thought i would be mad so he didnt tell me. wth? to top that off he denied until i threw the proof on his lap then the i sorry came out blah blah blah i told him you had your chance to tell the truth. im mad you lied not because you did that. so now im thinking this man can lie and can lie looking me in the face i thought after 9 years he wouldnt keep secrets. what hurts is he didnt trust me enough to tell me the truth? what do i do? im over here thinking what else does he hide and lie to me about.

 
whitenena

Asked by whitenena at 12:43 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,298 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Know the feeling. Once the trust is broken its hard to rebuild it again, especially when what they were hiding is something that should have felt comfortable talking about with their spouse, even if it would have upset them, it still would have been an open and honest issue to deal with, which is better than to have to deal with secrets and lies.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • your not overthinking it...trust is IMPORTANT! I would wait til things are calmed down a bit and have a serious heart to heart with DH and tell him that you're hurt that he lied, give him examples of times that you have told him things when it may have been easier to bend the truth and explain to him WHY trust means so much to you! Good luck
    sbenbenek

    Answer by sbenbenek at 12:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Yep, that's the problem once trust has been broken. Can you ever believe him again? It puts a serious strain on a relationship.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:45 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • After hearing all the lies my son's dad and another ex fed me, I can't trust anyone anymore. I try to... but ultimately, I'm jealous and distrusting and no matter how much I try to not let those things get carried away, sometimes I just can't help it.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 12:49 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • WOW, you must feel like your entire relationship is breaking apart or something. its terrible when you loose faith in someone you love. tell him you dont feel secure in this relationdhip anymore, because you cannot rely on him with total trust, that you believe he can lie to you anytime, for small things as well as big ones. Tell him you need to know if there is anything else he lied about, or didnt tell you the entire truth, tell him its the time to put everything on the table and discuss without geting mad at each other, that you will forgive him, but you need to know now. A good relationship stars with solid base and trust. Even after few years, its not too late to rebuilt the foundations of your love and trust. I kept a terrible secret to my SO for about a yeat, i was so afraid to tell him, but one night when i was pregnant, I told him everything. He said he knew i was hiding simething, and didnt get mad.
    kokomaman

    Answer by kokomaman at 12:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • he forgave me and i felt much lighter. i will never lie to him again. good luck momma
    kokomaman

    Answer by kokomaman at 12:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Scary woman!
    MyMyOhMy

    Answer by MyMyOhMy at 12:15 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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