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Need some advice .....please HELP!!!

short and long here is the situation my sons best friend moved in with us 6 months ago because his mother told him he had to find somewhere else to live because he and his stepfather don't get along. He gives me 200 out of 400 he gets from child support the other 200 he blows on whatever he wants. That said my children get 400 a month in child support and I can't give them a dime to blow because we are so broke it all has to go to bills-I don't even know if I will be able to buy them Christmas. The child support for the friend comes from his father-that he can't live with because he is abusive-so anyway I felt for the kid and let him move in..continued

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • so anyway not only that after he spends the 200 he goes to his mother and she gives him more to blow but she never offers to help me financially to take care of him. It hurts me so bad to tell my children no all the time when he gets to spend like this, and I feel like if we didn't have this extra mouth to feed we wouldn't be hurting so bad-he is 16- so yes it has caused all of our bills to go up-you know teenagers constantly eating and changing clothes...continued
    AlabamaGrl

    Answer by AlabamaGrl at 3:01 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • so do you think it is wrong of me to ask his mom for a little help-I don't expect her to give enough to take care of my kids just help on taking care of hers...I just feel like me and my kids are being taken advantage of ...so come on what do you think? how should I handle this?
    AlabamaGrl

    Answer by AlabamaGrl at 3:04 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • he should be paying you rent, part of utilities, and help with food..and buying his own clothes and stuff. sit down with him and his mom and discuss this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Child support is for child support (expenses to take care of the child) . The entire 400 should go toward bills, food, etc and they can give him spending money in addition to that. $200 a month spending money is way too much for him anyway. They are taking advantage of your kindness. Good grief feeding a 16 yr old could cost $400 a month! I charged my own son $200 a month for him to sleep on my couch but that didn't include food. If he wanted food he had to pitch in. I had a household to run and needed all the help I could get. Don't let them take advantage of you. Heat and electricity and water and toilet paper add up. Tell them it's all $400 or to take him back. I bet they give you the money. They don't want him back!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:09 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • NO, don't ask his mother! Tell HIM!!! He is grown enough to have a child and pay child support, he is grown enough to pay his OWN way.. YOU are taking food from YOUR children and giving to him.. Does that sound right to YOU?? I don't think so.. Stop and look at it from that point of view.. Quit feeling sorry for him. That's what is wrong w/ him.. Its time for him to be treated like an adult..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 3:10 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I would send the boy back home and let the mom deal with her own problems. Or make him give me all his child support , sense his mom gives him extra $$$$. or send him home

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:14 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel. He may not realize how hard he is making things for you. If he cares enough about you and your family he will listen and try to do whats right.
    RCDragons27

    Answer by RCDragons27 at 3:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I agree that you need to talk to him and his mom at the same time. It's her child so she needs to help pay for a little bit. I agree that 200 to blow monthly is ridiculous. I can't see why he needs so mucj every months to blow on things. Talk to them both and discuss your feelings. She either needs to help pay for him being there or he should go back home.
    momofangels5

    Answer by momofangels5 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • thank you this is how I feel I just didn't want to come off as heartless, because I do care about this child or I wouldn't have agreed for him to move in-in the first place, but I just wanted to know that my feelings about this situation were justifiable..so thanks again
    AlabamaGrl

    Answer by AlabamaGrl at 3:31 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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