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2 Bumps

Should i really be doing this?

Long story short...

My daddy passed away 10 years ago. My grandparents (whom i ended up living with after the accident) told me nothing about it. I learned what happened just by how much the newspaper allowed. I want to know what happened. I just found out yesterday from his death certificate exactly where it happened and the cause of death..which was from drowning.

I want to go to the police department and get a record of the situation...wont it tell EXACTLY what they investagated and found out about the accident??
Do you think this would be a good idea or should i just leave it alone?

My emotions are very raw and i have never mastered the art of subduing them.. my family (obviously) never talked about it. He meant everything to me. I just feel like i keep digging for more and more, as if its going to bring him back or something..i dont know. What do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Seeing the report will hurt. But you might get closure.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I think once you have the answers you will have closure on it and maybe be able to move on

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 3:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I think I would for some closure, I did the same thing, but my mother answered all the questions I had

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • If you think finding out more will give you closure then I say go for it! Obviously, if part of you is wanting to know more then that sense of closure isn't there. But at the same time, what if it is something you don't want to know (God forbid). Not trying to give negative thoughts, I am just telling you how I might think if I were in that given situation. I wish you the best of luck sweetie.

    Answer by MyLilClaireBear at 3:20 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I think it will help give you closure.. good luck

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:21 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I agree, it will bring you closure, which I am big on. It will hurt, very much so. But you will work through it. You need the closure, you won't be able to move past this without it. It wasn't fair for your family to not tell you. Maybe not if you were too young at the time, but now? I think you deserve to know, and better to hear it from family then from a cold hard police report. Closure is a huge thing, everyone needs it. Just prepare yourself, and make sure you have support if you need it. But, at least you aren't going in blind, you know what happened, just not the specifics.
    I'm sorry about all this though. It's a horrible thing to have to learn about.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:24 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Thank you so much ladies. He is such an important person to me...and everyone just forgot him like he was nothing. They must have been blind by all the money they were given. Pisses me off. The whole situation is messed up. I know i was 10..i was young but old enough to deserve to know what the hell happened to my daddy. I didnt have my mom there for me, she abandoned us a long time he was all i had. I wish they would have talked about it, and not have spent so much time buyin houses and cars.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • closure is part of the healing process. NEVER FORGOTTEN, but atleast some of your questions could be answered.
    my cousins dad..committed suicide 19 yrs ago. HIS parents still to this day say he was murdered..... recently one of their granddaughters died ... autopsy came back that she had 42 lortabs in her system.. ruled it suicide. grandparents wont accept that either. But knowing what the evidence says and shows does give some closure for others.
    You have a right to know .....

    Answer by kkbird at 3:26 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  •     Only you Know what's right for you...... Information often leads us to more questions. You may go on a long painful journey which could end in an unexpected & sometimes negative way.

         If, knowing all this you still feel drawn to discover the real incidents surrounding the accident, then you may be ready for getting closure!  The ultimate choice is in your hands, dear: I am praying you make the choice that's right for you!!!


    Answer by turtldov at 3:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • There could be a lot of reasons why they didn't talk about what happened. It's possible there's things that they felt you were better off not knowing.

    It will hurt a lot to read that report. And you will likely find out a lot of things that maybe you didn't expect. But, if you feel that you can handle it, and that you need to do this in order to heal and move on, then do it. Just prepare yourself for the fact that it will be painful, and be sure that you really want to do it.

    I do think when you do it, you should have someone that you trust and who will be supportive with you.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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