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2 Bumps

Family is mistreating bisexual relative... Prefer parents with teenage children or close teenage relatives to answer.

I have a little cousin that is only 16 and he is bisexual. He said he has been attracted to both sexes ever since he was 12. I was shock when my cousin told me this, but I told him that I would love him regardless what sexual orientation he is. However, my cousin told me that his mother [my older cousin] kicked him out that night and he had to spend a night with a friend. However, his mom told him the day after she found out that he can come back home and he did.  He also told me that his uncle [my other cousin] told him that he doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. I don't think he meant what he said about not wanting anything to do with my little cousin, but he should not have even said that angry or not. I want to talk to my little cousin's mom and uncle so bad about how they handled the situation. Especially, my little cousin's mom since she likes to be in my personal life at times. I'm wanting advice on what I should do. Should I just talk to them about how they mistreated my cousin or just leave it alone?

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Diamond2010

Asked by Diamond2010 at 4:06 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 15 (2,308 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Coming out to parents about sexual orientation is always a drama starter, explain to them that his sexual preference has nothing to do with them and that he is still the same little boy she gave birth to, except now he is beginning to wonder where his families unconditional is. If you are close enough to them to tell them this, I think you will be helping the situation. That kind of treatment only causes resentment and pain, ask them if this is how they want their relationship with their son to end up in.....
    older

    Answer by older at 4:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I'd certainly call them out for their mistreatment!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • you can try talking to them but i doubt it will do much good to closed minded individuals like that. your love and support are what your little cousin needs and maybe a place to stay. there are a lot of support groups that can help him as well.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:13 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Well, that's kind of a shock for some people to take. I'm bisexual too but my family doesn't know, except for one of my sisters. But this is why my family doesn't know, because I'm afraid of what they will do. Tell him the the only thing he can do is be himself and hope that they come around. If I were you, I'd have a talk with him about it. Find out if he was serious about shunning the boy and, if you can't convince him otherwise, let the boy know that you will be there for him, no matter what the rest of the family thinks.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 4:13 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I would say something ! I wouldn't do it in "Attacking way", but I would voice your concern. Maybe they're afraid what other people/ family members are gonna feel, once they hear and maybe hearing how your supportive you are, might help them accept it a little better. Help your little cousin out, he needs somebody in his corner!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 4:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • You'll maybe start more drama, but yes, I think you should! Your little cousin could be hurting by his mothers reaction, he needs her to be there as well as his uncle! But, it may not work, once someone has mae their mind up... I mean...
    All YOU can really do, is offer love to him, and promise youll never leave!
    GraciesMommy464

    Answer by GraciesMommy464 at 4:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Maybe go to them and let them know that the boy told you about being bisexual. Tell them that you were surprised but that you told him that you love and support him no matter what. Then ask how they are feeling and how they are dealing with this. Maybe let them know that he was hurt by their initial response and that it would help him if they could offer him some love and support, too. Maybe if you can get the adults to open up you can address some of their fears or prejudices and help get them in a better way of thinking. Yes, you could go to them and chew them out for being such big jerks about the whole thing, and frankly that would not be undeserved, but then they are likely to get defensive or embarrassed. Opening up a line of communication may be a better option to get them to reach out to the boy and make the situation better. If nothing else keep in contact with the boy so that you can be a source of support for him.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Ask you little cousin if he wants you to talk to anyone on his behalf before you do anything. Some times, even though you mean well, talking to people to mediate a situation like this can cause even more problems for the person you are trying to help. I know you would never want that, it seems like you really love and care about him.
    Standing with him and being supportive is very helpful. Allowing time for the news to sink in for those who are stunned by this revelation will help sometimes.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 4:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • First I would keep in touch, as much as possible, with your little cousin so he knows he does have support & always will regardless of what happens. Then I would most talk to his parents & (like older said) explain that a parents love is supposed to be unconditional & tell them it's NOT him they don't like, it's the sexual preference they don't like & ask them if their parents always approved of what they did when they were younger!! Make the VERY strong point that who a person is & what a person does are two totally different things - I'm a Christian & was taught the very strong point of knowing the difference between the two since I had a close friend who was a drug addict, it was what they were doing that I didn't like not who they were & thankfully they've been clean for years & we are still in touch. Make them realize that they don't want their son to do something terrible because he thinks there's no one there for him.
    Ellie15

    Answer by Ellie15 at 4:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Most important is to be there for your cousin. Then ask him if he wants you to talk with those that are mistreating him. Parents and relatives like this are why there is so much bullying and intolerance of those that are different.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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