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Feeling Torn

So my husband and parents don't get along so well. My parents never really accepted my husband and my husband thinks my parents are crude and treat us like crap. I happen to agree with him. Yet at the same time I do love my mom(not so much my dad) and recently we had a blow up and things ended on a sour note. And being that it's the Holidays, it's becoming very difficult for me to handle. I'm used to spending the holidays with my family and this year I'm afraid it won't happen. So how do I work this out? My husband won't speak to my parents and my mom hasn't even called me. I just feel so hurt by all this. What should I do? What can I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Imogine at 3:29 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Level 22 (14,425 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Put your husband first. I know how hard this must be for you, but you have to put him first. If you can try to talk to everyone separately and make peace that'd be great, but it may not happen. Sounds like your dad is causing problems, so talk to him first. Find out what his problem is with your husband. Sorry you are dealing with this!

    Answer by feesharose at 3:34 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Suggest that you all put aside any unresolved issues during the holidays. Sometimes, if everyone is on good behavior--those differences have a tendency to seem really trivial and will disappear even after the holidays are over. People are especially forgiving during the holidays.

    Answer by Jmcelroy at 3:41 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Jmcelroy, that would be great if we coudl do that, but this has gone on longer than a couple days. It's something that has been building up over the years and with the way my husband is feeling about the whole situation, I find it difficult to even pretend anymore. There just comes a time where we need to face what is real and I really want us to work it's getting them to do it that's tough!

    Answer by Imogine at 3:48 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Set them down and talk to them and ask them do they relize what this is doing to YOU?? And do they care?? If they love YOU they should put their feeling for each other aside for the holidays and agree to bare w/ each other just for YOU.. I'm sorry that you are going through this.. I hope it gets better for you.. Good luck. :)

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 3:50 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Thanks honeys.

    Answer by Imogine at 3:52 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Now we are also talking about your Mom whom you do love. Moms (most of em) will be there 99.9% of the time. Thats one thing that you should try to fix. I know you are married and have a family, but, Mom is also #1 in a different way.You also have to figure out in your heart who is right and who is wrong and deal with it accordingly. I love my huband to death, but,no one could ever take the place of Mama. Thats just my opinion.I hope this will never happen,but, what if something happened to you and your husband after all this, would you/could you talk to your Mom or is it too late

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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