Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

16 yo daughter spending too much time with BF

My 16 yo daughter has been dating a boy for the past seven months, lately she seems to want to spend most of her free time with him (weekend time), she does see her girl friends during the week at school activities and sporting events, (but it's not always consistent). I think she needs to juggle her time better between him and the girlfriends, not to mention family, on the weekends.... so I'm thinking of having her alternate weekends (especially with him and the friends, being as I don't mind too much if a friend tags along when we do family things) as a rule. Any thoughts??


Asked by luvmykidz037 at 5:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 7 (169 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Meet parents!!!Get to know them.Have a cookout for both families.They will hate it but you will get peace knowing where the boy comes from.Young love is hard.First relationships are so hard for teens,its pier pressure to the max.Talk to her about her future and see where her thought s are.Encourage her future.Ask questions that deal with her future.Let her see the big picture if you can good luck.

    Answer by grismelda at 1:46 PM on Apr. 29, 2011

  • 7 months probably is a long time to a teen and that may mean hes very important to her. I'd suggest maybe having him come over on weekends (some) and spending time with your family. Get to know him and stuff. If you force that on her it may seem as if you are trying to push them away. but in the end you cant really tell her who she can and can't hang out with. If she wants to spend time with him rather than her friends she will do it. No matter what you say.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 5:42 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I agree, 7 months is a substantial amount of time. No, it's not the same as being together for five years, but, in any relationship, by 6 months you know whether or not you want to be with someone for the long haul.

    Of course she wants to spend all her free time with him. Friendships and relationships are different in how often you need that "face time" with each other.

    You speak rather distantly about you actually know him? Have you bothered getting to know him? I like the suggestion of inviting him over for weekends and to do things with your family, like go to movies together. Figure out the things about him that your daughter likes.

    And if you haven't talked to your daughter about birth control (how to use it and how ti get it) and gyno exams, now is the time to start.

    Answer by Mousuke at 5:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Make sure, that you don't push him away. You push him away you are pushing your daughter away. Have you talked to your daughter about what they are doing on the weekends? Are you sure they aren't going on group dates or even double dating?? Maybe try one day for the " just family" thing. Make every Sunday a day that includes just that family. I also agree with the birth control and exams... If she isn't active yet, they have talked about it.

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 6:00 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • she is at that time in the relationship where she sees him as her world... yes she is still young and doesn't see it way we do know... but we were young once and wanted to spent time and be on the phone with our bf all day and night... just have a talk with her and let her know that you and the family woud like her time too every once and awhile.. but it is time for the birds and the bees talk though

    Answer by lynnlang at 6:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I'd welcome him into my house and the family so that she's hanging out with him here where I can see them. Also after 7 months I'd ask her if she's considering having sex and if she wants to go on the pill.

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:21 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I agree that too much time and alienating friends is NOT a good habit to get into.

    I have always stressed to my daughter that NOW is a training time. We train others how to treat us and we train ourselves in good habits. Giving up your life for a boy is NOT a good habit. Loosing friends over a boy is NOT a good habit.

    Im not sure if a whole weekend away is a good idea... but maybe splitting the weekend is better. But I do agree with you.

    THE LAST thing you want is for her to get pg or to be SO wrapped up in him that she forgoes college for him OR alters her LONG term life goals for a teenage fling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Don't try to push him away or you will likely push her away to. Ask her to invite him for dinner once a week at least

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Don't push too hard because all you will do is push her right into his arms. Invite him into the family and to tag along like you would one of her friends. Get to know him.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:05 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • It sounds so normal to me.

    Answer by KTMOM at 1:13 PM on May. 4, 2011