Ok, so I'm single, active and young and twenty-one years old and I have a two year old daughter. Once in a while, I like to go out on a Saturday, when I can get my mother to keep Alice overnight. I love my daughter but my sisters, my mother, and my sister-in-law all gave up everything when they had kids. They didn't try and cultivate friendships much more then the friendly water cooler relationships at work or, in the case of my sister, who's a stay at home mom, friendly relationships with her the parents of her kids' classmates. They rarely go out without their kids, unless it's with their husbands and that's rare. I like to go clubbing with friends or go to movies and, drink on occasion but, every time I go out, my mother pitches a fit and says I'm selfish because my life should be all about my child now.
I rarely go off without my child, maybe once or twice a month, and if she's sick, I don't go, and if my mother can't keep her, I don't go. I love my child but I don't want my child to be my whole life. I want to be able to have friends and have fun. In 16 years, when she goes to collage, I don't want my life to feel completely empty and have no idea what to do next. I want my child to be able to get along without me as well, when she is older. My nieces and nephews don't know what do do without their parent's up their butts all of the time. They can't make decisions on their own and they can't take care of themselves. I want to always be there for my child but I know there will come a time when I can't be there for it. It's a simple and painful fact, and I want her to know that she can do things for herself. I'm tired of my mother and sisters acting like I'm a selfish bitch because my child is not my whole life, even though she is most of it. What do you think?
Answer by Zakysmommy at 5:59 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by maxsmom11807 at 6:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
I don't think there is anything wrong with you wanting to have a life outside you child. My mother always told me to have friends and have a life because she never did. At this point in my life, since I had children at a young age, most of my friends are moms. We still go out to comedy shows, concerts, dinner, clubs and all sort of other things. Sometimes we get together with the kids and sometimes we don't. Since I have a husband, when I go out with my friends he is usually watching the kids although if we go out with a group of friends my mom will watch the kids.
I say, have fun and know that your child will thank you when she gets older. My DD was in the hospital for 2 months this summer and while I leaned on my family alot, my friends were just as important. It reminded me of how lucky I am to have made the friends I have. With out them I would be lost at times.
Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:08 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by ImaginationMama at 6:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by wildflowers25 at 6:11 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by FatGirl239 at 6:20 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by kittymom83 at 6:27 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by jmann83 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2011
Answer by JoLee12345 at 7:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2011