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Getting some help.....(little long)

I used to just be a SAHM, so I did everything. I cooked, cleaned, laundry, kids homework, just everyday mom stuff. Now I am keeping a set of 2 year old twins in my home to help bring in a little more money to our income. You would thing my Dh would help a little around the house since I am actually working now, but nooooo. Let me ad that I keep them from 6:30 A.M- 5:30 P.M and I am also potty training them in the process. Nothing has changed at home. I still have to do everything, he doesn't raise a hand to do anything. He just asked me to iron his shirt to wear to work tomorrow. I officially am on strike. Am I wrong about this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • No you are not wrong. When everyone who is capable of taking care of the home, and the family can do so, alot of things run alot easier and it keeps Mom alot happier when she is not burden down with so much to do.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:02 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • No, but that doesn't mean he will do it now. He's a guy. lol
    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 6:03 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • No ur not we are in reality here and us ladies are expected to be super heros or something I bet if he was in your shoes for one day he would go crazy, they couldn't do it and he does need to help for sure!
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 6:03 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • STRIKE!

    STRIKE!

    STRIKE!
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 6:08 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Have you asked him directly to do a specific chore? Or did you just ask for help around the house in a generic way? Or did you expect him to read your mind? Men can be obtuse...they don't see what's obvious to you, and often don't know where to start...so be specific...annoyingly specific....like "it's your job to take out the trash tonight, before you go to bed."

    After you're specific, don't touch that chore...if the trash piles up all week, and you can't stand the smell, don't touch it...just every day in you're sweetest honey voice, remind him to take out the trash.
    Dkhilly

    Answer by Dkhilly at 6:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Mothers jobs are never done. 24/7. THEY consider sahm is just that. NO MATTER if you have 6 kids at your house to watch.... you r still a sahm in there eyes and should continue to do as before. only difference is more kids. THEY work out side the home therefore their domaine is not doing / helping in our "JOBS". * I even cut grass, trimmed bushes, hung the christmas lights, had MY OWN weedeater. Yep.... all the LUXURIES of that SAHM title.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 6:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I have thought about asking him, but then I thought he doesn't have to ask me to wash his clothes cook his food or care for his kids. So I shouldn't have to ask for help everyday around the house. Does that really sound childish. I know men are different from women. But I have made that statement to him before about he doesn't have to ask me so I shouldn't have to ask him. I guess it just makes sense in a womans world.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I've been with my guy for five years, he hasn't raised a hand voluntarily the entire time (he does stuff outside, and takes out the trash without being told, but that is IT). If I need him to do something, I literally have to say, 'Honey, I'm pregnant and I can't change the litter box, it is bad for the baby. Please do it by the end of the day." (Or whatever it is that I need done, and I have to give him a deadline). I would definitely try something along those lines. If he doesn't just "get it" I would sit him down and CALMLY discuss it with him. Tell him that you cannot handle doing it all on your own any more, and he needs to man up (so to speak) and help out around the house.
    FatGirl239

    Answer by FatGirl239 at 6:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • No you are not wrong but have you asked him for help maybe he thinks you can just take all the task on your own because you are a mom. Some men think it should be some thing we do and they go to work and that is that. Talking to him might help you just thinking he should jump in and help will never be real lol because he's a guy lol. They look at us like we are their mom and can do it all and when he ask you to do some thing for him then come back at him with ok then while i'm ironing your shirt then you can feed the baby, help him in the potty or pick up the mess in the kitchen watch the kids while I do this for you and I'll be right back. LOL he will not want to do any of that he ether iron it him self or forget it all together lol..
    butterflies78

    Answer by butterflies78 at 8:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Not asking him to help you directly is extremely childish. Sit down with him and list out the daily chores, split the list up and agree to who does what. That's the easiest, least confrontational way to get what you want.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:42 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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