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2 Bumps

I don't know how to convince him!?

We are having the issue of where we are going to get married. We live in Tx and my family lives in Va. We are flying to Va in a month for 2 weeks. We were going to have our SMALL ceremony (wtih just family) at shenandoah mts because it has significance to us. But my fiancee's family probably won't be able to come because of money issues. But it goes both ways...if I were to have it here my family wouldnt be able to come. I REALLY want it in Va bc of the sifnificance of the mts and my dad marrying us. If we have it here it will be at justice of peace with no family and then have celebrations later. But I want my dad to marry us and I want our families to be there because its an important day.

I don't know how to convince him that going to Va is the best option. Also forgot to mention....his mom has been giving us a lot of crap for everything and putting her nose in our business and basically telling us what to do. Which is NOT helping. I dont want to look back on this day and resent my husband for not letting me have the wedding that I want. It's not fair!!! I don't know what to do. I get that he wants his family there but we are accomadating his family WAY too much. our plans have changed a million times because of his mother.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Not an ideal way to start a marriage. Good Luck

    Answer by meooma at 6:12 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I agree!!! It's sooo frustrating!! If I wasn't pregnant. I'd call it off bc I'm SO stressed.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:12 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • So do both.............. have a small ceremony in both states....then everyone is happy, you don't have to have anything big, family only and do a very small family dinner, or go out for dinner. You can get married in a park or someones yard for free....

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 6:15 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Vegas and then a honeymoon in VA. If I had to be honest? Weddings are kind of like high school prom. Highly overrated, but you don't know it till you've gone through it. I enjoyed planning my wedding and reception....but then my husband and I skipped out of the reception early because we were tired and everyone had irritated us for so long we just wanted to get away from them!

    Answer by blu_canary at 6:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I agree - do both. It IS tradition that the bride marries in her hometown. Anyway, when you are there, have a private, intimate ceremony w/just your family in VA.

    You can have the reception in TX w/his family, etc.

    Or, have a small ceremony and reception in VA and marry at the courthouse in TX (I believe family is allowed in to see that) and then another ceremony.

    It's YOUR don't want to regret anything or hold resentment towards anyone.

    Good luck & congrats!!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 6:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I think doing two ceremonies loses its significance. The first time is the most important. The second time we are just repeating our vows.

    I just wish I could stomp my feet and cry and say THIS IS HOW ITS GONNA BE!!! But no...I can't.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Thank you cheekycherub...Thats how I feel. We were going to do the ceremony in va and have the reception here in texas with all his family. I like that idea I'm fine with it. But does he? NO. ANd his mom is saying that nothing ever goes her way? Thats so stupid considering this is OUR wedding and OUR relationship. She doesnt get a say. This is so stupid.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Make the second one a ring exchange ceremony with some of your own special vows. It's not the same as a wedding, but still special for a family to watch.

    Answer by Dkhilly at 6:27 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Is it bad that I want to give him an ultimatum??

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • They say you marry a whole family...and no matter what you do, you're going to have to live with both sides of the family interfearing and would be reasonable to give an ultimatum that you need to decide now how much you let both sides of the family into your marriage. You need BOTH sides to know that you love them and appreciate their input, but in the end you will make your own decisions as a couple.

    Answer by Dkhilly at 6:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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