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4 Bumps

How do you handle a newborn and 1 year old?

I was finally able to bring my son home after him spending 16 days in the NICU. I have 4 other boys at home, ages 5, 5, 2, and 1. The first three have acted just fine today with the new baby but my 1 year old is acting "crazy". He of course screams and screams whenever i am holding the baby or doing anything that has to do with the baby. My 1 year is 14 months if that makes a difference. Please give any advice you can. When i brought my 1 year old home when he was born my 2 year old , 1 at the time, was fine so i did not deal with this before.

Answer Question
 
michelle.coppes

Asked by michelle.coppes at 7:08 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,968 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • no advice but here's a bump. It sounds like you have a full plate! GL!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 7:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Sorry, my 14 month old loved her baby sister :/ Maybe see if he'll "help" out with baby?
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 7:11 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • bump

    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 7:11 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • You just have to do it! I have a 3y/o, 20 m/o, and a 11m/o and I am due any day now...
    Gotta have the right mindset or it will be chaos. PM me for better details :)

    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 7:26 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I am a SAHM of 5 also.... ages 8,5,4,1 and 4 monthes and my 4 month old also was in the NICU for 16 days! But the truth is we let Daisy ( our 1 year old) help with almost everything! She hold the bottle while I hold baby, she brings me diapers an wipes, she brings her toys and even ksses her head...lol Just remember DO NOT say "NO" when talking to you 1 YO about the baby! He wil get resentful! Simply say " Be nice, big brother" and say things like " baby loves you" Give baby kiss?" Also I always say "ouch" when the kids go near the soft spot, they catch on very quickly, before you know it, he will love the baby as much as you and want to care for the baby with you! Good luck mom!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 7:45 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Wow! When I 1st read your ques, my initial thought was, "Wine! Lots of wine!" LOL Since you can't possibly have time or energy for that, I like what JoLee12345 said about keeping the baby's big brother involved. Then maybe when baby is napping, he can still get some special cuddle time w/ mom. He's used to being the baby, so he needs to know you haven't "replaced" him. I hope you get some help from friends & family from time to time. Sounds like you'll need it! My hats off to ya :) GL!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:54 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • It sounds as though he is jealous that the baby is taking up your time. Make sure to give your toddler extra attention one on one, so that he knows that you still love him. Try to get him involved with the baby and praise the good things he does when relating to the baby. If he's being calm around the baby, praise him. If he helps you get something for the baby, praise him. Just to show him that the baby is a good thing and that he can be really helpful with the baby. When associating positive praise when he interacts with the baby will help build his confidence and help him be assured that the baby is okay to have around.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:05 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • That sucks. I had 3 under 3 (15 months and 13 months between them) but I never had jealousy issues. Are you having him help with the baby? Like get diapers and sit next to you while you're feeding him.
    Maybe have the older kids distract him while your busy with the baby if he's getting really fussy. It's been awhile since I had 3 little ones at the same time (they are 10, 9 and 8 now) so I forget what I did.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 10:40 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I have my son help with his baby sister. He has also learned to be quiet around baby and give her sister "love" which is hugs and kisses. The best thing to do is just teach your 1 year old to love his little sibling and make sure you give him plenty of alone time when the baby is sleeping. It's definitely not easy having a new one and a toddler but once you make a good routine for everyone things will be much easier! Good luck!
    mamabaier

    Answer by mamabaier at 2:28 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • i definitely agree with Jo Lee if the 1 year old starts to feel like a "big helper" he may not act out as much because he will feel needed.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 10:15 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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