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I just can't handle my kid anymore!

My almost 3 year old is so difficult. It seems like all he does all day is throw fit after fit. Today we went to the doctors because I really needed to go, but they couldn't even run the tests they needed because he was throwing this massive fit the whole time. It was so emberassing that I couldn't handle my own kid, so I just walked out and said I'd reschedule. My husband died about 1.5 years ago and I just can't take care of 2 kids all by myself anymore. I have my husband's pension, so I'm able to financially support us and go to school online, but I need a break from my 3 year old, but I don't have the money for a babysitter. I can't deal with these massive fits anymore. I don't even want to be around my own son, and that makes me feel even worse. I know he's been through a lot and I want to be the best mother, but I can't even leave the house with him. The only time I leave the house is to go to the store for food, but every trip to the grocery store is a nightmare. What on earth can I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • There is a reason behind his behavior. You need to figure out (the best that you can) what the reasoning is behind his tantrums, then take the proper steps to solving that issue. It could be stemming from his father's death, it could be that he's trying to communicate and can't, it could also be that he's uncomfortable in public situations for some reason. Everything a child does has a reasoning behind it and a problem cannot be resolved if you don't know the reasonsing. Now, there are other steps you can take while trying to figure out the problem. Helping him find another way to express himself outside of tantrums is the biggest key. Calmly talk to him when he starts to get out of hand and say "I know that you're upset, but I can't help you when you're screaming." Then allow him to calm down and then talk with him to figure out the issue. (Continue)
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:59 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • ((hugs))
    Can you put off the school for awhile so you can spend more time with your son? Maybe join playgroups so he can interact with children his age or since he has been thru alot try some family counseling.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I am sorry for your loss, for starters

    The 1st suggestion popping into my mind is headstart. Get him out of the house, give you a break, and hopefully return him to you very tired out and compliant.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • definately try head start or some sort of pre school, not sure where you live, but its getting nice out here in NY go to the playground and let him get his energy out that way? You deserve a break for sure. I know its tough, but if you don't get him out in different situations, he will never learn how to behave when he is in them.
    zradiogirl

    Answer by zradiogirl at 7:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Is there someone who could help you out? Take him for a few hours? Maybe you should talk to his pediatrician. They might be able to help.
    Shaken1976

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 7:26 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Okay, first of all you need to sit down and take a deep breath. Then you have to gain your composure. Regardless of what else happens in your life, you have to realize that these are your children and you are ultimately responsible for them. Whatever you do, affects them. You are going to have to seek some sort of counseling for the other issues that are going on in your life, if it takes medications, then so be it. But, a professional will be able to set you on the right path. It's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.. one day we could all be facing the same situation. Some of us have. What's important is for YOU to get the help you need. Don't feel that the kids are embarrassing to you, it's not a reflection on your parenting, it's a CHILD being a CHILD. Cannot be helped... trust me. If it could, we'd all have perfect children. Kids are kids. You are the adult. Be tough, stand proud.. YOU CAN DO THIS!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:33 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss and I can relate to the feelings of needing time away. There is nothing to be ashamed of- we all need breaks. I would check and see if any of your local churches have a "mommy's night out" program and take advantage. They are usually free or maybe 5 bucks for 3-5 hours of peace. Good luck and if you ever just want to chat, look me up.
    wendydays

    Answer by wendydays at 7:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • get the book - parenting the strong willed child - read it and actually try his methods. btw they are kinda harsh but they are just for your situation - you have lost control over him, it has become a big enough prob. to effect your life. most libraries have it. and our local libraries have online sites that allow you to select a book and have it waiting for you at the desk so you dont have to take him out too long. it really seems to be what you need. good luck!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 7:20 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • He needs a break as well, you should really look into a daycare program or him going to school. He'll be better off learning and interacting with other kids and you can have a break. Even if it's for a couple of hours while you do school. I'm sure you can get funded through DES or something. Some daycares offer scholarships to mothers who cannot pay for daycare or hace been denied from DES. I'm there for you if you want. I have a 3 year old and he can throw a fit too, but going to school has helped a lot. He's more well behaved and he loves making friends.
    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 7:22 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • hugshave you talked to his dr. abou this???

    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:37 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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