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How do I deal with my step daughter's mother?

She says terrible things about me to my sd, including that her daddy is much meaner to her since he's been with me... Last Saturday she opened our closed front door 3 times to tell at my sd to hurry up! By this time the child was crying and my partner had to go down and lock our door.! Help!!!

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momtoccandn

Asked by momtoccandn at 7:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • There seems to be a lot of questions on here by steps, about steps, ex's, etc. I am not sure because I promised myself I would never get involved with a man that had children. I am sure someone will be along to help ya out though. Good luck!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • If it were me I would call her mother and ask to have a civil conversation with her. Sadly some people aren't capable of this so if need be I'd take her back to court to get her counseling on being a better parent.
    maybaby22

    Answer by maybaby22 at 7:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • i feel your pain my sd & ss mother always tells them that i treat them diff and that i dnt love them the same. i try to reassure them that i love them the same and what i do for 1 i do for the other. but she is the mom and they dnt what to believe that she would lie to them.

    esmith1984

    Answer by esmith1984 at 7:43 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Take what your SD has to say with a grain of salt. You know she's been brainwashed into thinking you're a horrible person by her mother. She didn't have rights to open your door, but she DOES have rights to tell HER daughter to hurry the hell up. I have problems with my ex's gf, but it's because she's psycho. Like literally psycho, but I hold my tongue on what I think of her in front of my STB 6 year old daughter. He's just the same as he always was as a father so I don't blame him for being a dbag father. I wouldn't talk to the mother about it unless you want to open a can of worms. Just ignore her. You know what's true and what isn't. Your SD has no rights to disrespect you, but I'd be talking to her FATHER about it and let HIM talk to the mother about it.
    leomommy1325

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 7:47 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Sometimes the ex's are just nuts. Unfortunately, DH's ex is one also. I feel that what is best for the child is a few things....1) it is up to DH to interact with her, I WOULD NOT call her and get into it in any way shape or form. 2) No matter HOW she acts, always take the high road and be polite. Look at it like a business relationship. 3) Document EVERYTHING in case you need it one day for court, we did. 4) NEVER bad mouth her to your step child and don't allow your DH to do it either. NEVER EVER. 4) Good luck, DH and his ex have been divorced for 16 years, I've been with DH for 13, married for almost 8 and our relationship with his ex is worse then ever and now his son won't speak to us either. She has alienated him from us. Very sad.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 7:49 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • There could be a lot of jealousy and resentment there on her behalf. IF IT WERE ME, I would have to have a meeting with her , granted it wouldn't be a fun or an easy thing to do but something needs to be done. Really, I think your husband needs to speak up, his kid is suffering and caught in the middle. Good luck, there's no doubt this would be a difficult situation!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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