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Is it meant to be or should I leave?

I've been with my baby's daddy for almost 3 years now. But my relationship is not the same. In the beginning he was very different and the most sweetest guy ever. After 4 months of living with him we had to move in with his mom because we lost the house where we lived. That's where all the problems started. I was already pregnant at that time so I was always in a very bad mood and very emotional so I would cry for not reason. His mom was no help at all. I don't get along with her and we never liked each other. She made my relationship go down the drain. She would advice his son to not let me control him cuz he's the man and from then he changed a lot. His cousins would tease him that he's a wussy cuz he listens to his girl and just small things like that. He also started drinking and it got really bad that he started being abusive. It went on like that for 2 years until he eventually went to jail for a big argument we had. I left to my moms but I still wanted to b with him. We eventually got in contact again and he told me he felt bad about the way things turned out. He promised to changed if I did the same. Now that I'm with him again he has changed a bit but his anger is one thing that is still there. He gets mad for every little thing I do..if he doesn't like it. He tells me I don't do anything for him and that I don't act like a wife. Sometimes it gets to the point where I just don't know what to do to b happy with him and at times I think I might just b better on my own. Just me and my son. Any relationship advice would help. Please no judging.

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Babygirl760468

Asked by Babygirl760468 at 7:24 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Been there done that... in my experience someone who has been violent/aggressive will be again... it's just a matter of time. You need to decide whether he adds to your life or not and do you want your son to grow up believing that sort of behaviour is okay. Good Luck to you.
    momtoccandn

    Answer by momtoccandn at 7:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Maybe you should be on your own.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 7:30 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Ask him, "What do I need to do to be a better wife?" and make him be specific. Also, have him ask you what he could do to be a better husband. Are you two actually married?
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 7:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I think you should find a new relation ship this does not sound safe at all think about you and your child first.. and if he abused you what makes you think he wont do it again... My best friend was in a relation ship with a guy for three years and they lived together for a while he was VER abusive would hit her all the time and she kept going back one night he sent her to the hospital in critical condition... she finally got up the courage to leave... please dont let it come to this.
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:33 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Well things are better and he hasn't hit me or anything of that sort like he used to do....but he does hurt me verbally. I try my best do please him so we can be happy. But I'm always in a bad mood cuz I'm always home and don't go anywhere. He doesn't get that though. Well.... he tells me he does love me but that my attitude is what gets him mad. So he said if I changed that..things would b different. He drinks WAAAAY less now so that's good. But I don't know.....I just don't like his anger issues.
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 7:34 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Yes I have asked him that...he says he just wants me to be sweet to him...b there for him...cook for him..ask him about his day...and just small things like that. He thinks that i don't do that because I don't care for him. But I expect the same too. His family corrupted him and well he grew up thinking that way so how do I make him think otherwise?
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 7:37 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • i still say dont get invovled again... it might be ok now but please listen to the people who have been through your situation and trust me mental abuse is just as bad...
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I would never judge you or any one ever I am not like that. I think it is best that you should be on your own for your son because he will be gain to see you unhappy and now hes young you guys with out knowing it will fight in front of him one day and he will think that its ok too. The things you have said about him before you left and now being with him again has no differences with my feelings. They say they will change just so they can be with you. Trust me they do not change so before it gets worse you need to move on. Like you said when you went to your mom's you still wanted to be with him you have feelings for him but now that your back together you see he isn't much different. You need to move on before you have strong feelings and never leave and things get worse between you to. You dont sound happy and you know it. You need to be happy and have a loving life style for your son he will start to see you unhappy.
    butterflies78

    Answer by butterflies78 at 7:49 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • very rarely doll do abusers change. Verbal, emotional, and physical. IT DOES get bigger and more often. The longer you allow this man to beat u down, the lower your self worth and esteem become. WE deserve better. Drop him like a bad habit and protect your son. Allow that baby boy to grow up not being afraid or walking on egg shells b/c daddy's home. They too feel the emotional abuse and have low selfesteem/worth. (even at a young age it still affects them).
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 7:51 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Well yeah I do think about that too. I know I should find someone better who will appreciate me for me and love me no matter what. But it's not easy to just walk away. It's hard and the other 2x that I left I came back to him because those feelings are still there.
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 7:54 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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