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2 Bumps

Is there something wrong with me?

Why do i feel like my husband doesn't care about me or love me as much as he once did? He sais he loves me & cares but his actions say another. He doesn't communicate with me well & i am always scared to say something that is on my chest in fear that he will get angry. I made a post a while back about how he got angry & said he wanted to end our marriage which was a complete shock because there was never anything serious going on for him to have a legit reason. He later said he did not mean it but ever since then i feel like just giving up. I am an emotional wreck not only that but he just deployed 2 days ago & i keep thinking to myself do i deserve this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i know you love him but you dont deserve it. do what YOU think is right, not what others tell you to do. they arent living your life, you are!
    KiraStadnik

    Answer by KiraStadnik at 8:07 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Talk to some other military wives. Find out if some of their guys find it easier to push them away when they are scared about facing a possible life threatening mission? It takes a special person to commit to someone in the military. Get some counseling to decide if you can handle this role or not. Best of luck to you both! I have the utmost respect for our military!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Maybe some time apart will shed some" new light" on the situation? Even if he did get mad when you feel the need to get some answers from him, I'd still ask, you can't walk on egg shells around him and he has no right making you feel that way, it's not fair to you! I'd have to have answers! I don't know how long he's going to be gone or if you would be able to send him a letter but sometimes writing a letter is the best way to get your feelings across without the other person getting defensive and firing back at you. He will have to think about what you had to say before responding . Just a thought, good luck!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 8:15 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • We women are much more verbal than are our husbands. As a result, we often intimidate them with our incessant talking. This is especially true if we are prone to talking about what we see as being "wrong" with our marriages, our lives, or whatever. Men take that stuff personally. What he hears you saying is that he doesn't measure up, that he is failing as a husband and as a man. If you want him to communicate with you, try telling him all the things you love about him, compliment him on the things he does well, admire him as a man of character. You will see him change before your very eyes. Marriage is so much more about what we give to our spouses than it is in what we get, but when we make the giving our focal point, we will usually get more of what we want in return. It took me many years to learn this, but my marriage has gotten better with every passing year since I learned how to relate to my husband.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Most men in the military are trained to be "closed off", aren't they??? It's just not fair to you that you are also one of the people he does it to! Good luck....
    cfh72

    Answer by cfh72 at 9:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Get some relationship counseling hon.
    MyMyOhMy

    Answer by MyMyOhMy at 11:11 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • :( HUGS!!
    him being deployed is hard enough
    and then on top of that, he's being distant...
    i don't want you to get hurt :(
    maybe exchanging letters with each other will help?
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 12:55 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • have you ever felt like there was "something wrong with you" before you got married or started dating?
    because if that's a common thought in your head, its almost normal,
    but if you've NEVER said that before, then it's probably not you entirely, there must be more for you to feel like its your fault
    im sure it's not because you love him and you're not feeling the love back. am i right?
    there must be something you can do to regain it, i have faith the love is there since you guys are married
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 12:59 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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