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Husband is in a deep depresion,what do do now???

Okay,my husband has always done odd jobs,etc......Well he had a descent job working carpender work,until i got down and out with alot of problems,after having a nervouse breakdown,so he lost that job last year,he was working here n there on odd jobs until lately.He feels like hes not supporting us,and has been xtremly down on himself,and for awhile now,he just sets around,not even doing work outside (which he use to enjoy) i know hes xtremly in a depression,what can i do about it,to help him out,or anything,i mean hes become a huge couch potatoe.?????
I know what depression is like cause i have alotta mental health problems....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • First, I just want to say that this is very normal. When men are not able to provide for their family they feel like a failure in some way. Although you know he is not a failure, our country has had some very flawed policies that have failed and lead to this economy, he did not do anything to contribute that. So first is to normalize that many families and men are in this same situation. Second, if there is a way to seek treatment from a doctor for anti-depressents (if necessary) they might give him the boost he needs. Perhaps there is a clinic in your area, a local mental health center maybe? There may also be a support group for those who have been out of work as of late. If not, start one. Above all, he needs professional help if he has depression.

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:47 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • He is totally against getting any type of help,he hasta git bad before he will even go to a family Dr...

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • talk to him and help him get help to get out of depression,,,,and tell him you love him no matter what...good luck and god bless,,,,,,,,

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 7:49 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I agree with the others. Please continue to take care of yourself first, then they let him know to get help. As I told another mom. Many men get their worth and value from their jobs. Tell him you all will get through this and that is an awesome, smart, intelligent man. Go to the library get some book on cd and encourage yourselves. They even have DVDs at the library to watch on all kinds of issues if he want go get help. Most men will not. I pray for you both. Just know that you all can come through this. Please add me and stay in touch.

    Answer by usanamama at 5:32 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I 've been in a similar situation for several years. Though my husband has a good job, he battles depression because he hates working and can't seem to save much for retirement. Retiring is all he lives for because then he won't have to go to his soul-crushing job. Like you, I've tried to get him to go for help, just to try antidepressants. No success - he can't accept that kind of "weakness" in himself. Whenever I mentioned him getting help, he would yell at me, and then not talk to me for several days. I finally had to make a choice to stay in the marriage or not. After some counseling, I decided to stay. He isn't abusive, he provides a good home and is a good father to our kids. Things aren't bad enough to subject my children to a life of divorced parents and shuttling back and forth between homes.
    (continued below)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • (continued...)
    I continue to see my counselor off and on, just for a reality check. When my husband is an unreasonable ass, and blames all his problems on me, I need someone to tell me that is bullcrap, I'm a good wife and mother. My counselor helps me to deal with my husband's depression, and for now that is as good as it is going to get. I don' t know if he will improve in the future. If he gets worse, I will have to revisit the divorce question, I suppose. This may not be a very helpful response, but it is from someone who is living some of the same issues as you. If you can't get him to seek help, my best advice is to get some for yourself. Good luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

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