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Medical bills and step-parent adoption. What to do?

So we're in the process of doing a step-parent adoption. However, my ex still owes several hundred dollars from medical bills that he has not paid yet. I figured it was the pediatricians responsibility to mail him, especially since I provided them with copies of our divorce decree stating he was responsible for 50% of that not covered by insurance.

However, the clock is really ticking. He has approximately 90 days left of any sort of rights to my daughter, and I want to make sure this gets paid.
Would it be right for me to write up how much he owes and give it to him directly? Or should I just leave it up to the pediatrician? Thing is, I am still getting bills in the mail marked as my balance, when it's really his balance that is passed due. NOTHING so far has been in his name, even though it's HIS debt. I am just concerned that this is effecting my credit score badly as well.

We're already paying for everything that's related to this adoption but those bills, and we simply cannot afford to pay them ourselves. He needs to do this. To keep the peace, I really wish we could because I am 100% sure he doesn't want to pay it. But our funds are tight already.



Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • It isn't the dr's office's responsibility. It's yours. You pay the bill in full, submit it to the ex and he is to pay you back half. Most states it's 30 days to get it to him, and then he has 30 days to pay you back or you file w/the courts for a judgement.

    The adoption will not let him off the hook for anything he already owes. Any debt he incurs while still legally responsible for the child will remain his debt.

    Answer by desert_diva at 9:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • OP .No one has criticized you at all.Responders have only tried to offer you help.Proper response would be none or appreciation that people were offering you help.We are not the ones not paying the bill.Save your anger for the man you picked to father your child.


    Answer by drfink at 11:09 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • In my children's doctor's office they have you sign a paper explaining that they don't care what your divorce agreement says YOU are responsible and they will not bill the other parent. You can do whatever you want but, if your ped's office is sending you bills than it will go on your credit and it will look bad for you. It has nothing to do with the SP adoption and if your husband is wanting to adopt the child why is he not providing insurance for the child. The social worker will not approve the adoption while the father still has contact (providing insurance for the child) unless he willingly sign away his rights. Maybe, you should just put your child on your husband's insurance plan and stop worrying about what the child's bio-father is doing seeing as you don't want him to have anything to do with the child anyways. I adopted my husband's son and he adopted my son when the SW came we had to prove we didn't require the BPs

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:03 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • We haven't hired an attorney. We're doing it all on our own.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:10 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • You need to talk to the office manager and let them know in 90 days his rights will be severed. That will not change the fact that those bills already incurred are still owed by him. It has nothing to do with you. You are clearly not responsible for the bill.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • i would get an attorney otherwise you may be paying it all by yourself

    Answer by esmith1984 at 9:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Can you call legal aid or if is there a law school near you? I have friends that have had opposite experiences though both thought the dad was 50% responsible.One the Dr. stopped billing the mom and the other the mom was responsible.It was all determined by what was signed about payment to the Dr. at the first visit.Apparently if someone accepts responsibility The Dr. has the right to bill and report that person.That friend had to get her lawyer involved to get paid back by the dad.If you talk to legal help have your divorce decree and the paperwork concerning payment from th luck.


    Answer by drfink at 9:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Hey just wondering how you are doing the step-parent adoption? My fiancee and I are wondering how to do it without an attorney so it doesn't cost so much. When we get married of course. You can PM me if you want. Thanks :)

    Answer by Keeely07 at 9:44 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I am unsure how step-parent adoption happens, but with our adoption (domestic infant in Ohio), WE were responsible for all medical bills pertaining to the pregnancy and the delivery and anything afterward (BMom had DD for 3 months after birth). We even had to pay back BMom on anything she had paid out already.

    I would definitely talk to an attorney.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:45 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • All - It's written in the divorce decree that my ex is required to pay 50%. With that being said, regular adoption is not the same as step-parent adoption. Whatever is in the divorce decree, child support agreement, or other legal forms should be held up in court until the parents rights are terminated, or relinquished.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Apr. 26, 2011