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how can i win full custody if my sons father wants joint custody?

My son is 3mths his father didn't want to sign the bc or et a paternity test in the beginning. I had to file for child support so now he wants joint custody but still doesnt plan on keeping him overnight. I'm thinking about whats in the best interest of our son and his abusive father(only towarsd me) isnt fit to make good solid choices in his life.

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1rstbornSON

Asked by 1rstbornSON at 9:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • WELL LUCKY YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE CUSTODY RIGHT NOW GENERALLY HE WILL GET JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY BUT THE SOLE PHYSICAL WILL STAY TO YOU ESPECIALLY IF HE DOSE NOT HAVE HIM OVERNITE JOINT PHYSICAL IS GENERALLY FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE CLOSE TO EACHOTHER AND SPLIT THE TIME 50/50 THAT ISNT THE CASE HERE YOU STAND YOUR GROUND IN COURT AND YOU DONT NEED A LAWYER YOU JUST TELL THE D.A YOU DONT FEEL HE IS A SAFE PERSON.
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 9:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Be careful when talking about custody and visitation as in some states, they are 2 completely seperate orders.

    Custody only identifies who has residental custody (normally the mother) and who is involved in making life decisions for the child such as where they go to daycare, medical treatments, even down to where they go to school. I have full custody since XH and I could not agree on anything where she was concerned.

    visitation is what dictates when he can see her and how often. We have 60/40 split visitation even though I have full custody.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:33 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Good luck. Unless he is proven to be an unfit, he can get joint custody. I don't think he'd get it right away since your son is still so little, but as he gets older, your ex can request overnight visits and there's not much you can do. Sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Do you want sole physical custody, while giving him visitation, or does your ex wants joint custody, as in the child living with him part of the time? I'm confused...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • My ex is ordered to pay child support, but has no custody or visitation. HOWEVER -- I do not press the child support issue (and he doesnt pay it) -- because I don't want him to have possesion of my DD. It's win-win for me. If you force the issue, he will probably force visitation just to call your hand. In Texas, overnight visits for infants start at 6 months (unless you breastfeed). -- In most cases.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I want sole custody with allowing him visitation. I never kept our son from him due to the fact he is the father, but he has never kept he alone, overnight, and he keeps putting a bottle in his mouth every time he cries because he can't console him, also he has never been to a doctors appt.. I would never want to keep him from his son but when it comes to descion making i want that responsibility.
    1rstbornSON

    Comment by 1rstbornSON (original poster) at 9:53 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • but he has never kept he alone, overnight, and he keeps putting a bottle in his mouth every time he cries because he can't console him

    This sounds like any first time father that hasn't been given the opportunity to learn how to parent. I am sure that when baby was first born that you didn't know how to console every cry from the start. it's a learning process and he will have to learn as well. As for the doctors appt, DD's dad never went to a single one...why do both parents need to be there? As long as one is there with the child and is capable of making the decisions that is all that is needed.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:59 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Stop throwing the past in his face. He did not want to sign the birth certificate but now he wants another chance to be a father. Even if its not your idea of one.
    The child's father is not perfect but that is his dad. You should try to make it work.You picked him, remember
    alexiamms

    Answer by alexiamms at 10:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I,m not bringing up the past it is the present and until you know this guy personally and you see how he is with our son and how he is with me keep your feelings to yourself. I was in an abusive relationship with this jerk for 4 yrs. He is a tit for tat guy and that is how is with our son. Unless he can slep with me or talk to me he wants nothing to do with him!!!!!!!
    1rstbornSON

    Comment by 1rstbornSON (original poster) at 10:35 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • 1rstbornSON


    Again you pick him and he picked you. What can you do? You cant control his stupidity but it does not change the fact that  he is the father of the child.  Why were in a relationship with him for four years. Did you use birth control. Sounds like niether one of you made good choices now you have a jerk in life forever. You have to find a way to make it work for your son.  IYou have to decide what that is

    alexiamms

    Answer by alexiamms at 11:48 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

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