Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

HOW DO I STAY FOCUSED ON DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR MY STEP SON WHEN HIS MOTHER IS SO IGNORANT?

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 10 YEARS WITH A 7 YR OLD DAUGHTER AND A 6 YEAR OLD STEP SON WE SEPERATED FOR 1 MONTH AFTER OUR DAUGHTER THEN RECONCILED 1.5 YEARS LATER I RECIEVED A CALL FROM THE NOW OTHER MOTHER STATING MY HUSBAND NEEDED TO GET A PATERNITY TEST HE WAS 9TH ON THE LIST AND TURNED OUT HE NOW HAS A SON I WAS INVOLVED IN THE CUSTODY HEARING THE D.A STATED I WAS MORE THAN WELCOME TO ATTEND THE MEETINGS AND SHE HAD AGREED I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED SINCE DAY ONE AND WE WERE ON SOMEWHAT SPEAKING TERMS I HAVE HELPED HER MANY TIMES AGAINST MY HUSBANDS WISHES SHE IS VERY UNSTABLE AND POOR SHE HAS BEEN HOMELESS AND CALLED ME TO COME PICK UP MY STEP SON SHE HAS HAD 3 MORE CHILDREN AND ASKED US LAST YEAR TO TAKE CUSTODY OVER CAUSE SHE COULDNT AFFORD TO BUY HIM SCHOOL CLOTHES OR SUPPORT HIM WE DID IT THROUGH THE COURTS GIVING HER EVERY WEEKEND TO COME PICK HIM UP THIS IS A PROBLEM SHE NEVER HAS GAS $ SHES ALWAYS LATE ETC UPON ENTERING 1ST GRADE WE LEARNED HE COULD NOT READ I TAUGHT HIM TO READ WE ARE DOING WHATS RIGHT FOR HIM I AM EVEN BUILDING AN ADDITION TO OUR HOME SO HE CAN HAVE HIS OWN ROOM(I HAVE AN OFFICE AT HOME) NOW THAT SHE SEES HE IS DOING WELL WITH HIS EDUCATION AND MANNERS BEING A RESPECTFUL YOUNG BOY SHE WANTS HIM BACK SHE HAS TAKING US TO COURT 4 TIMES IN 7 MONTHS AND THE JUDGE KEEPS DENYING HIM TO GO BACK SOMEHOW I HAVE BECOME THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL SHE TELLS HIM TO LIE TO US WHEN SHE DROPS HIM OFF SHE HAS TRIED TO TAKE HIM OUT OF SCHOOL AND THEY CALLED THE POLICE MY HUSBAND AND I ARE DONE TRYING TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE SITUATION BUT I FEEL LIKE MY STEP SON SHOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT LIFE THAN WHAT SHE HAS TO OFFER HIM THE POOR LITTLE GUY DOSNT EVEN KNOW WHEN HE GETS PICKED UP WERE HES GOING SHE HAS MOVED 3 TIMES IN THE 9 MONTHS HE HAS BEEN HERE ALL I KEEP HEARING IS YOUR NOT HIS MOTHER I AM AND I CLEARLY UNDERSTAND THAT I DO BUT IF I COULDNT PROVIDE FOR MY DAUGHTER I WOULD NOT WANT HER TO SUFFER I WOULD WANT HER TO BE TAKIN CARE OF AND I WOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WHOEVER STEPPED UP AND HELPED THAT HAPPEN THIS WOMAN IS VERY CHILDISH AND I AM RUNNING OUT OF PATIENTS WHEN SHE HAS HIM HE COMES HOME WITH BEHAVIOR ISSUES AND THEN HE GETS BACK ON TRACK TO GO DO IT OVER AND OVER EVERY WEEKEND SOME ONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE

 
rinamomof2

Asked by rinamomof2 at 9:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,629 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • ooooh i feel you on the crazy bio mom situation. It's definitely hard with these coo coos they would be more than happy to live off child support from our dh's and the child still wouldn't benefit. Unfortunately though as our lawyer has told us custody is like a living thing she can just keep dragging you back to court for fun eventhough she knows no judge in their right mind would turn a child who has a stable life over to someone who is completely unstable.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 10:04 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Here is a bump. We you write in caps it seems like you are screaming at us.
    babygirl0782

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 9:27 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • i would think that her lack of a stable home and bad influence would be enough for the father to get full custody. has he explored that? i would not let her have time alone with him....supervised visitation would be the best i would offer her. i would get a good lawyer who is experienced with such things and ask what are the chances to get full custody based on her past and present situations. if you can't afford to hire them, you could get a free 1 hour consult with the majority of lawyers. gl! and i would have nothing to do with her unless it was an absolute must
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:32 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • i would back off and let his father handle it. he was mature enough to get this woman this woman pregnant so he should deal with all of this mess. i know u want what is best for the kid but he is not your child.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:53 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • In a situation like yours I would try to remember why you are helping your stepson. Help him , love him and be there for him. That is still is mother even though according to you she is a lousy one. You stepson realizes at a young age that his mom is not stable so I would just keep doing what you are doing . Make sure she is in his life but you can be that main support. Let some of that anger go, I know its hard because it seems like everyday there is drama. Thank God that you are in
    alexiamms

    Answer by alexiamms at 10:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I would try to go for her to only be able to have supervised visitation of him. She is so hurting him with that behaviour!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:12 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Try to get supervised visits due her lack of a permanent residence. It is not good for him to not know where he is going when with her and she needs every other weekend not, every weekend.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:27 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are in this situation it looks like you are doing the best you can. Hang in there and just know at the end of this storm there will be a little boy who will grow into a man and realize who was there for him through everything.
    heatherann0221

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 1:10 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • NO NOT SCREAMING THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STUCK ON THE KEY BOARD SORRY :)
    rinamomof2

    Comment by rinamomof2 (original poster) at 9:34 PM on Apr. 26, 2011

  • Thank u all for the responses
    rinamomof2

    Comment by rinamomof2 (original poster) at 8:38 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN