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Kinda seeing this guy. he wants to go out to lunch with our kids on friday....

my boys are only 19 months. his daughter is 2.
we're just having lunch and taking the kids to the park.

is this a bad idea? I won't be holding his hand or anything like that.. I'm not trying to introduce them and be like this is my boyfriend~ call him daddy~
you know, we're just trying to find time to spend together, I'm super busy with school and the boys, and don't have a babysitter that often.

how do you keep your kids from getting confused or attatched to people you aren't sure will be around forever??

I'm so new to this whole dating with kids thing, HELP

 
ElsaSalsaaa

Asked by ElsaSalsaaa at 1:15 AM on Apr. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,139 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • At 19 mo, they aren't going to be really that focused on the guy, but the park, and the 2 yr old. To them, its just a fun day at the park. For you, its a chance to see this guy interact with his kid and your boys....

    But I think its awesome that your are being reserved and cautious. I've met girls who introduced several boyfriends a year and pretty much just introduced them as "daddy"... that can really mess with a kid. Sounds like you've got your priorities straight.... your boys are very lucky.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:32 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • When I was a single mom, I occasionally introduced my son to a guy just as a friend, as you said I didn't hold hands, nothing physical, never had them overnight. We always did things with a focus on kids, it was often a good way to see how the guy did with my son, and how my son interacted with him (we're not talking about a lot of guys here).

    I think it's fine, if you're responsible. You will have friends through out life (and so will your boys) that come and go, people move away, or friendships fall by the wayside in life, and new people come into your life. Obviously, I don't think it's a good idea to have a parade of boyfriends come through, but letting your sons meet a guy here and there, as your friend, I think can help you decide if you even want to take the relationship further.

    Good Luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:21 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I agree with ohwrite because the only way you're going to know if a guy is worth you or your child's time or worth being with forever is to see how he interacts with your child, you, and his child.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:34 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • couldnt have said it better myself =)
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 1:58 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I guess it depends on how long you have been seeing him and if your comfortable with meeting eachothers kids at this particular time. At 19mths and 2 they are not going to understand the whole boyfriend/Daddy concept so much yet, esp if your just going to the park with no affection being shown etc......if you and he are on a friendship level and being that the kids are still quite young it may be a good time to observe him with his child etc and yours, as it will not be long until the kids will be understanding of it all.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:01 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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