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Do you feel like you favor one child over another?

there are def times i feel like my son is my favorite ( like now when he is in bed and dd is screaming her head off) but usually i think i favor dd. i feel bad for it and its something im trying to change, but dd is still a baby and he has gotten pretty defiant. i just get so annoyed by him... i dont know what to do with him half the time and i feel so bad cause he isnt even 5...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Apr. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • Never. I was afraid of that when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, of loving one more than the other, but after my son was born I just felt immense love for both him and my daughter, and it's completely equal.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 1:50 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I try not to but if one is being overly annoying I tend to favor the other for making my day peaceful.
    TwinkleLites

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 1:50 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I love my kiddies both the same! But sometimes yes when my son is being annoying I like to spend more time with my daughter, and vice versa.
    mamabaier

    Answer by mamabaier at 2:10 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I love them both equally but one son is more like me and we're very compatible. The other son has more of a serious side, like is father and this can drive me nuts at times, lol My boys are 24 & 20, so you'll find your relationships change as they get older and you'll appreciate and love each one equally for their unique qualities.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:14 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I don't think you are favoring or loving one more than the other, I think you are annoyed by certain behaviors at different times...that's really fairly normal so don't beat yourself up over it.
    I have 3 adult kids...each one has a very different relationship with me. My daughter and I have the same twisted humor , so when we're together we end up laughing quite a bit. My oldest son is very smart and loves to talk about current events and other things I also love talking about, so when we talk I enjoy the intellectual stimulation. My youngest son is my baby, I love his attitude on life and his happy personality, time with him is refreshing. None are my favorite and yet they all are.
    Next I'll post a real example of favoritism.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 4:07 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • My mother played favorites. She even told me to my face that she loved my brother the most. Another thing she would say to me was that she had to love me because I am her child but she didn't like me. She allowed my brother to abuse me and she covered for him.
    When we all had kids she started to favor grand children. My brothers 2 sons are a prime example. When they were little and she baby sat she would make the youngest sit in a corner the entire time and allow the older one (by 15 months) to watch TV and play.
    When she tried that with my kids, they all stuck up for each other, even the one she was favoring stuck up for her sibling. The one she was mean to refused to visit her at 6 years old. She complained to me about that and said he was disrespectful. I said, "No, he knows you don't like him and I won't force him to visit." She got mad. She hates being called on her nastiness.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 4:14 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Not really "favor", but I have more in common with one of my daughters than the other. She's more like me and we tend to relate better than I do with my other child. I try to never, ever, ever let on to anything like that with either or them though.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 7:27 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • You might just be a little overwhelmed but the baby needing more from you doesn't mean that she's your favorite lol
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:06 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • There isn't a child I 'love' more than the others, but there are certainly stages of development that I enjoy more than others. It doesn't mean I favour that child, it just means I am enjoying where they are at that stage of life a little more. I know I enjoyed the baby stage more than the potty training stage... it doesn't mean I didn't love the potty training child, just that I did not enjoy the process on a daily basis, kwim?
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 10:21 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I love both my kids immensely!! My children are now adults and my son sometimes tells me that he thinks I love his sister more. I think, as parents, we love our kids equally - but we show our love differently. Everyone has a love language and I think that when we are particularly good at speaking one love language over another type with our kids, that it can be misinterpretted as loving one more than the other. My best advise, learn the love language that your children each respond to and do your best to show your love by interacting with them in the way they understand. That's what I need to do with my son - I haven't shown him how much I love him because I haven't been speaking his love language very well.
    mrslabel

    Answer by mrslabel at 11:10 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

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