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Have you explained to your child what being gay means?

If so when and how if not then why not? ....I ask because my mom left my dad for a woman when I was 10 and she's been with the same woman for like 13 years now....my best friend and roommate is gay who is also my daughters male figure in her life ( god send def! ....her father isn't around much) ....I think my daughter just knows that people can pick from both ( she's three) and she knows that mommy has boyfriends and my roomate has boyfriends haha ....I don't think ill ever have to explain just wondering if and how everyone else does it

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Anastacia1988

Asked by Anastacia1988 at 4:17 AM on Apr. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (206 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think in your situation your daughter won't think in terms of hetero or gay, she'll think in terms of people being in love and not give gender a thought. She's kind of lucky because she'll grow up in tolerance by example and lifestyle over you having to teach her with just words.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 4:20 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I haven't explained it, I feel when the situation arises that I need to (one of my dearest friends is gay) I'm just going to tell them, that is who she fell in love with and leave it at that.... there is no point in trying to over explain because the kids will pick up on it with or without a parent lol. I teach my children acceptance and I think that's enough.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 4:23 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I meant to say, she'll get it about being gay all on her own without you having to say much, the way most kids get it about hetero relationships.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 4:23 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • When my ten year old niece asked me what gay meant I told her to ask her mother. She then sighed and said "Well that sucks. She told me to ask you. You're the expert." (I have two gay best friends) I told her that it was when two men or two women loved each other and dated. She contemplated for a moment before replying "Do they have sex?" When I told her that they did she responded, in a whisper, "How do the girls have sex with other girls? They don't have a penis." I replied, "That is a conversation for another day, after you discover the internet."
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 4:28 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Lmfao that's hilarious!!! Yeah I mean its not MY lifestyles but whatever makes someone happy you know? ....I'm all about living in harmony with everyone ....even people that have troubled pasts or whatever else....I like to think as were born we start out as a blank canvas....u will eventually become a product of your enviorment...if ur dads in jail for selling drugs and ur in the ghetto and ur moms working 3 jobs and is never home and you learn to be a gang banger to survive I sympathize with those people partially because they are just victums of circumstance :( ....I'm providing the best I can for my daughter and want her to know good morals and use good judgement in decisions and if she was gay I'd love her just the same....but I'd tell her I'd still want grand babies hahaha
    Anastacia1988

    Comment by Anastacia1988 (original poster) at 4:38 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • It sounds like she will grow up surrounded by it. She won't need an explanation.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 6:51 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • You probably won't need to explain gay to her, but you probably should when she gets a little older explain the prejudice she'll inevitably hear about from other kids (esp once she starts school). Kids learn bigotry at home & unfortunately anti-gay talk is acceptable in many households. I've had to do this w/ my son (he's 9 now) at around age 6. We're very close to my husband's cousin, her wife & their three kids. One day after we visited, he asked, "Hey, where's their dad?" They used a sperm donor, so you can imagine the stammering explanation I ended up giving :)

    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 7:41 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • My daughters have a gay aunt and their stepmom's best friend, he is also gay. So they have always just known just like your daughter that people can pick from both and of course are raised knowing tolerance of everyone which is best. I just teach my kids good people are good people color, religion, sexuality etc. doesn't matter.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:04 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • A couple years ago my son asked me what being gay meant...I said that being gay means that you fall in love with someone who is the same gender as you and want to be a family with them in the way that dad and I wanted to be a family. Dh has an uncle who is gay and has a longtime partner, and I pointed out that Uncle loves his partner in the same way that mom and dad love each other, but they just happen to be the same gender. They also wanted to know if people could marry someone of the same gender, and I said that yes, in our province they can.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 10:13 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • My 8 yr old asked me why a classmate would say a game he didn't like was 'gay' and wanted to know what the term meant. I told him that his friend was not using the word in a very nice way. We talked about how he was used to seeing teen girls and boys dating or grown-ups dating or marrying. I explained that sometimes men fall in live with other men not ladies and that sometimes women fall in love with other woman and that the term gay is used to describe that type of relationship - when genders are the same. From there we talked about how there are some people that don't like who other people fall in love with and they can be mean about it. I told him sometimes people, even when they're not trying to be mean, can be - like when they decide to use a word like 'gay' in a way that makes it a bad word when it really isn't. Then I also told him that 'in olden days' the word gay just meant happy. ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

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