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2 1/2 year old boy beats up 1 year old brother

What do I DO?!?!?! I don't hit him, I try really hard not to spank unless it's something major...but this is major! He constantly pushes him, hits him, jerks all toys away from him. Every once in a great while they will get along...but it's been rare. The little one just started walking, and things are evening out just a little.... but I am scared that he's really going to get hurt. Just yesterday....the older one rammed him with a mini-grocer cart (you know the toy ones) and it split his labial frenulum! Seriously?! *sigh

--momma at wits end.

Answer Question
 
Adeline1210

Asked by Adeline1210 at 11:05 AM on Apr. 27, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (107 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • don't tolerate it at all! if you don't spank then time out and if he is the type to refuse time out i say spank him but i don't see anything wrong with spankings under certain circumstances ( like deliberately disobeying, he is 2 he knows what you're saying when you say no hitting allowed) better to get it in order before the younger one gets bigger and you have two fighters on your hands. im sorry i know that has to be very hard! GL
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 11:09 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I went through the SAME THING! and honestly up until this very moment as I read your question I thought there was something seriously wrong with my boy. I kept up with STERN time outs...I was vigilant about it...and I always mentioned how sad he made his brother...there are still small episodes, but I'm no longer afraid for my youngests life! just hold on to your mommy wits a lil longer! My son got much better after about 4 months...Just keep talking to him about it, remind him that he loves his brother and that he doesnt want to hurt him or make him sad...and PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE him when they are playing nicely together! Good luck mumma, its a rough and scary phase for sure
    sbenbenek

    Answer by sbenbenek at 11:11 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Stop being scared and take care of it! YOu're the parent. If you need to spank him spank him! Start taking all his priveledges away and then tell him why you're doing it. IF that doesn't work have him spend more time in time out. Let him know that that kind of behavior is not acceptable at all. He might be two, but that is usually the age they need to start learning right from wrong so they'll know right from wrong as they get older.

    And I feel your pain. My 4 yo DD gets a little rough with her sister (almost 10 months), and I worry she's going to seriously hurt her. Sometimes she kicks her and sometimes she'll just pull on her or try to lay on her. I started a good/bad chart for her. Right now it's an EAster Basket. I put stickers of easter eggs inside the basket and x marks outside the basket. I tell her if she can get more stickers than x's by the end of the week she'll get a reward. cont'd
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 11:15 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • If she gets x's she'll have something taken away from her. It seems to be working so far.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 11:16 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Imogine that is a great idea. but where he is still so young I don't think a chart would work. time outs haven't been working, he just kicks and screams hisself into a tizzy and gets out of the corner whenever he thinks I'm not looking. I'm not scared of taking control, I just don't believe if I say "hey we don't hit people" and then assert that by hitting him that it's a very good message.
    Adeline1210

    Comment by Adeline1210 (original poster) at 11:26 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • time outs work.. remove the younger child from the older child as well during their spats.. tell 2 year old if he cant play nice he cant play at all. and be more attentive to the two year old
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:32 AM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • if time outs are just making him act out more or if he is just being defiant about it...try holding him there...or sitting with him...but you have to ignore him until he's calm. I used to sit my son in my lap and tell him when he had quiet hands, feet and voice (not kicking, hitting or screaming) we would start the timer...when he did that i would say 'thank you for listening, lets start the timer...when the buzzer goes off we can talk about WHY youre sitting"...it definately took him a bit to get used to, but keeping it consistant helped...now he sits without me and is ready to talk and apologize when he's done.
    sbenbenek

    Answer by sbenbenek at 12:04 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • sbenbenek.....how old was he when you started doing that?
    Adeline1210

    Comment by Adeline1210 (original poster) at 1:24 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I understand why you feel "hitting" for punishment is not teaching him not to hit but at the same time you are teaching him that you are the parent and authority figure and you have that right and the only one who has that right. that's just me though. it worked for my kids my two year old rarely has to get spanked and he knows not to hit he is an unbelievably well behaved little boy.
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 1:42 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • If it were my youngest two, I would be spanking his but the moment he became aggressive, then make him sit away from everyone for a bit. I try really hard to encourage and aide the play between my two youngest because they don't get along very well right now. I have spent alot of time playing with just the two of them I've started to get them playing together, then backing off till someone gets upset, then going back and calming down and redirecting the play. it seems to be working.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

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