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3 Bumps

I feel like a bitter old lady....

My ex really screwed me up mentally and emotionally. (he was abusive) I have severe trust issues and feel I put a wall up with people and I'm just so angry all the time! On top of that I've been having health problems. I don't want to be angry anymore, I want to let it go (I'm really a nice person) Does anyone know how to get over this?


Asked by June_Mama09 at 12:28 PM on Apr. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Hugs.
    When you have been abused, you have been forced to remain "squashed" and "quiet". You have had to stuff your feelings. Now that you are out of the situation, all of that pent up anger is coming out. It has to come out because your body can no longer tolerate holding it in. SO, you need to find healthy ways of releasing it.
    Spurts of vigorous exercise can help. ANd one of the best ways to get it out is by journaling. When you feel pissed start typing on a word doc, and just let it roar! Do all of the name-calling and profanity-letting on paper. Type it all out.
    Eventually, you will release all of those feelings, and you will be able to have peace back.
    More hugs mama.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:33 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • You have to decide to let it go. The past is gone, nothing will change it and only YOU are in charge of how you feel, think , your own actions and feelings. You just choose to not be mad about the past. Why hang on to it? no point in it and it will effect your health if your always mad or thinking about it. Just set those bag of bricks down. Leave the pieces on the floor and walk away.

    Answer by vbruno at 12:32 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • First (((HUGS)))) get you a counselor set a time to go because talking about abuse for too long can bring you down as well. I would also find a martial art Krav maga or aikido or even mui tai it will all bring some balance back into your life. My dad was abusive physically and my mom mentally. I moved in with a guy who was all kinds of ass left him for 8 years went back thinking he changed but he did not. Now I am alone again but better this time because of the help I have and the goals I set with my counselor it will help to set goals as well nothing monumental just little daily goals. Slowly you will feel more like yourself.


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:42 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • After I left my abusive x it took me a very long time to become myself again. I had become so bitter and I hated the world. I reconnected with an old friend who told me to forgive and meditate. I did the forgiving but had a hard with with the meditation. It still worked. I'm a whole lot happier now. My x remarried and now his current wife is a bitter "old" woman and she's only 33!

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I'm sorry honey....I think the best thing you need to do, the easiest way to get over him is to forgive's more for you then for him and it will free you. I know you can't possibly enjoy being angry and bitter. Forgiveness is the best thing to do. Good luck mama

    Answer by Lucky209 at 12:30 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Have you thought about antidepressants? I know a lot of people are wary with the drug route, but meds might at least help you to feel like getting out of bed, maybe even exercising & making you feel good about yourself. Then you can wean yourself off - no need to be on them forever.

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 12:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I think for the abuse you suffered, you would need counseling or to read self help books - that's hard to over come and take on without some type of help..the health problems, I am sure that is adding to everything.. I hope its nothing serious. Just hang in there and try to take care of one thing at a time.. good luck

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Have you tried to go to counseling? It could help you to overcome hurdles to get you back out there where you can socialize without putting up walls with people...It may also help you overcome the trust issues as well....

    Answer by shelle21 at 12:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • You got to love yourself first, and anger will always weigh you down. Start a new slate, focusing on you, like and love yourself and the rest will come.

    Answer by older at 12:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Counseling is good...allowing what he did to you will keep you down even more until you are dragged into a grave while still alive.
    Please try to find counseling or talk to people who will continue to inspire you to stand back up to be the better person you already are and just need to be encouraged more.


    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2011