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Has any one had to deal with their 14year old boy smoking pot?

We've noticed some odd behavior form my stepson and decided to drug test him. It came out positive. He swears it's only happened once. He took one puff and it made him sick. I know this is not true because he would not have tested positive due to the time frame. I'm a recovering addict so I'm not stupid when it comes to drugs, but I am clueless when it comes to step children. We did not punish him because he was "honest" with us, but we told him we have the right to drug test him whenever we want and if there is a next time, there will be consequences. We also asked him to think about consequences if it were to happen again.
I was wondering if anyone had experience with this type of situation and how they have dealt with it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • Yep I have! I started just going through his room and when I found any rolling papers or anything like that i threw them out. I didnt even say anything. I also took him to the country jail and asked them to let him sit in a cell for a couple hours so he could see what its like to get arrested. I also put him in a group for kids who use drugs. They usually have them in any state/county and they are free. Call the dare officer at school and ask them for what sorts of programs like that are available.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:47 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Most experts in drug and alcohol will tell you if you wait until you know there is a problem then by then it is already too late. The first time there is an incident of abuse of a substance is the time to get help. If this were my son he would be with a specialist in drugs so fast it would make his head spin. Also most pot off the street is laced with other fun little goodies and is rarely "just pot." I would want to send the message to my child that once is way too much, I take this seriously, and I will not let this go. So off to get help he would go. Also my trust would be broken and changes around our home would be made. As a family we are team and we will tackle this as a team. Trust would have to be built up again. I refuse to wait until my son is too far gone to decide it is time to do something.

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:06 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • You definitely should do something soon. I don't have kids so can't advise, but weed is known as the "gateway" drug. Some people smoke pot, and never even try anything else, but others start with weed, and next thing you know, they're on everything in the book. My hubby started smoking pot when he was about 14 too, and by the time he was 17, he had done acid, crack, cocaine (daily) and every pill I know of. He basically tried everything but needles. The only thing he didn't do multiple times was crack. I'm not trying to scare you, but just trying to let you know that one thing can lead to another if nothing is done. My hubby's mom smoke pot with him after awhile, so he took that as the OK. But was still doing cocaine before this... Luckily he is off all of that today and never got addicted to anything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • my teenager is 17 and at first came home telling me he felt sick,, then i caught on he was smoking pot,,,,i sat with him and told him,i don't do pot or any drugs, and will not infest my body with drugs,,,,and if he thinks i was going to support his habit,,guess again,,,,,,so far he's not doing it,sit with him tell him the dangers and get counseling,,it's hard but you can do it!!

    Answer by seexxymama4u2me at 8:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • you can educate him all you want and maybe he wont smoke because he is a smart kid but if i remember correctly the hardest thing for me when i was that age was that all my friends did it on a daily bases. let him know that you know it is hard and you will be there to support him through it, that your not just telling him "no" or else. you know first hand what he is going thru, just be real with him and share some of you own stories. my husband and i both smoked up until we found out we were pregnant and it has been harder then i thought.. looking back i wish i would have never done it but at leased i have that experience to teach my daughter with. maybe part of the reason you had those experiances was to help your step son with his.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Definitely DONT SLEEP ON IT. Even if it was only a little bit of pot. My cousin used that same excuse, and my aunt took him to rehab (more of the experience), took him to jail, also let him sit with other teens who took drugs and how it affected there lives, got him into counseling, and for a year random drug tested him, and would even come up to his school, take him out and drug test him. Needless to say, he never looked at a drug again much less a cigarette. So that being said...DONT LET UP ON IT! Like someone else sd, your family is a team, he broke your trust. He has to earn that backk. He knows or should know drugs are bad, so yes there should be consequences. Good luck!

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 2:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • using anything (drinking, smoking whatever it is all the same) is a SIDE EFFECT of the child being unhappy and wanting to excape his life... deal with the real problem, his emotional state. get him in therapy... real therapy not drug counsiling.... find out what the real issue is..... good luck... i had friends who were drug tested as kids and they waited till they were older to become full fledged addicts. deal with the real problem before he becomes unreachable, he is still young enough to be fixed..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I also know alot of kids with NO major problems, and took drugs just for the fun of it, or because of peer pressure. I also know people who had the worst problems you could think of and have not taken a sip of alcohol or even LOOKED at a drug. Unhappiness is NOT an excuse to take drugs. Like anon 1:23 sd, your friend WAITED until he was an adult to do drugs, indicating that he knew it was wrong, but just waited until he was old enough to get out and do it. Original poster- your son may have problem but he may not...either way its still NO EXCUSE TO DO IT. He needs to be educated on it, and yea find out if he has a problem but let him know, that is still not ACCEPTABLE by society. Just because you have an issue doesn't mean its "OK" to down a thing of vodka and a bottle of vicadin...or smoke pot or crack. There are other ways to deal with your problems.

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 2:39 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • i am 21 years old so i know a lot of kids around that age start smoking pot... and other things. you need to be very careful. all of you. it starts with pot .... usually if they try that they will try more. im not saying this to scare anyone. but, its the sad truth nowadays. watch your cold medicines and perscription drugs... and get to know their friends parents. i know he might think you are intruding... BUT... even though he was honest and admitted it, he like a lot of adults... doesnt like to hurt peoples feelings, so he could be protecting you from the real truth of it all. totally not saying hes doing anything else. a lil off topic but you should check out THIS site.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I haven't had to deal with that yet, but my father had to deal with a 14 year old daughter that he caught with a bag of pot once lol :) All it took was once and I had no privacy. I knew he would go through my purse, room, car...even my locker at school...everywhere. I hated it of course, but now I know why he did it. I doubt home drug tests were around when I was pulling stunts like that, but I would definitely keep up with giving them randomly (and frequently) to him. I started hiding my pot in the garage and got away with that for a while...knowing you have to take drug tests is a real deterrent! Dirty pee is harder to "hide"

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

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