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How to handle my 4 year old he is out of control?

I have a 4 year old boy who has been acting out of control latley in the past ive tried timeouts and taking away toys but this is different i cant even get him to sit in a time out and i can barley carry him when hes kicking and biting and hitting so i spanked him and he just laughed nothing works, I had a friend and her daughter over yesterday, and he was not letting me talk, pulling my hair, constantly saying hes hungry( he just had 3 servings of lasagna) one minute hes nice to the little girl then next hes taking a toy away and giving dirty looks saying "i dont like you" and for me hes saying "i hate you" your stupid" and i cant even control him enough to get him to his room i have to carry/drag him to his room and force him to stay starting to feel like i want to give up, i cant do it anymore....Any advice on how i can get him to SETTLE down enough to listen


Asked by lnanln2006 at 1:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Grab him in a bear hug and don't let go till he is calm and ready to listen. Then implement time out or whatever form of punishment you want.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 1:35 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Are there other factors? transitions? changes in the family? dietary issues (sugar, allergies) is he tired? anxious? overstimulated? Are you calm and grounded?, Try taking some deep breaths yourself, outline simple directions, one step at a time, be clear on your expectations with him. What is he reacting to? Is he trying to find a way to feel in control of his world? Might want to seek some professional help with this.

    Answer by thrivingmama at 2:11 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Time outs, redirection, taking away privileges, etc. There are a lot of options other than spanking.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 1:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • My daughter stands in the corner for time out

    Answer by kayslay at 1:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • time to set a chair in the corner and let him sit there for a while until he can chill out and be nice

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I've tried all those things its a constant battle he will not settle down....I think he may have ADHD, his cousin has it and he acted the same way when he was around 4

    Comment by lnanln2006 (original poster) at 1:26 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I thought of another thing . My daughter who is five, has ADHD and ODD. it helps a LOT if you can get him to exersize. Does he have TONS of energy ? I bought my daughter a small excersize trampoline that I have in the livingroom. I make a game of it to see how long she can jump with a stop watch. Also I use that same stop watch to see how fast she can run back and forth in the yard. Also if it is not pouring rain we go for walks and/or she rides her bike. I try to have a no sugar rule,and no way in the WORLD can she have caffine ! It seems to help with the bad additude / poor behavior if she is not all hyped up with all kinds of energy to bad. It kinda sucks, but you might want to try and do more things WITH him other than try to get things done,and leave him to do his own thing.( I was able to do this with my oldest) Hope this helps a tiny bit?

    Answer by Gnomes at 6:40 PM on Apr. 27, 2011