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Please tell me this gets easier. Teen daughter.

My daughter is failing high school. With each bad report card that comes out she promises me that things are getting better and it is continually just bad. I am starting to feel very hopeless. She doesnt seem to want to do anything but sit and watch TV and talk on the phone. She is very unorganized her room is a complete mess. I keep thinking that if I set the example of going to work(12 hr days) ,keeping my house immaculate, and making sure we have great homemade meals everynight that somehow she will follow suit and try to be more responsible. I try to sit down and talk calmly with her but she is very disrespectful and then before I know it we're fighting. Sometimes I feel like I just want to smack her but I never could. Does anyone else feel this way?

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petunia102

Asked by petunia102 at 3:19 PM on Apr. 27, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • So what have you done to get your point across? What consequences has she suffered for her actions? You don't like her watching TV or talking on the phone? TAKE THEM AWAY! You have to light a fire under her ass apparently and hoping she'll follow your example is obviously not working.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Take away her television and phone until she straightens out.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:27 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Anonymous I know I could be alot harder on her. I would'nt say that I try to be her friend but that just may be the answer TOUGH Love. I don't exactly know how to be more drill instructor and less kind nurturer.

    petunia102

    Comment by petunia102 (original poster) at 3:30 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • have you TALKED and LSITENED to her about it? You need to figure out what it going on with her. You say you work 12 hour days, do you two spend time together? Is there anything going on a school that you don't know about?
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Okay so I just took her TV out of her room. I'm not asking for advice only to do what I was doing before. Thanx Cafe moms.
    petunia102

    Comment by petunia102 (original poster) at 3:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • *listened
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:34 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I am trying to make time for her at night. Also she thinks she has a right to alot of time to herself which I get but also am opposed to too much of it. I Love my family time.
    petunia102

    Comment by petunia102 (original poster) at 3:38 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Before taking things away form her- I would try to get her talking. Does she come to you with things?
    My 17 yr old and I talk all the time- a lot of times we talk in the car, she tells me pretty much everything that goes on with her.
    Maybe take her out to lunch or just window shopping or soemthing and see if you can get her to open up. Seems to me there is something else going on that is causing her to act this way. As for her wanting alone time- she's a teen. That's normal and they need that (not ALL the time- but yeah)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • She actually does come to me with alot of things. We go out to eat alot just for the sole purpose of having that one on one time. I like the idea of taking the TV away because she will definitely want to come hang out more. So yeah I'm constantly planning time for just the two of of but, she always has plans. I like that you said window shopping thats funny it is definitely a term we know well in this house. Our car time together is for singing onlyhaha. Thanx for your advice hopefully someday I will be giving someone advice and tell them that all of this trauma and drama are well worth the wait.
    petunia102

    Comment by petunia102 (original poster) at 4:24 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • well- hopefully, she will snap out of it then
    hang in there :)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 4:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

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