Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

I don't know why I just am having such a hard time ...

I left my husband don't want to be with him anymore, he is just a mean/weird person. That being said I have been with him since I was 19 and I'll be 27 next month we have one 2 yrs old together and one unborn baby. I know I could never live with him again. I got the divorce papers formt he court filled them out but I just cannot turn them in. It's like the acutal reality that I'm alone and we still text and stuff and as soon as I turn them in I know that it's 100% over and so scared to be really all alone. He wants to get back together but I cannot take his emotional abuse and laziness. What is my problem I know it has to be done but i'm so emotional about it. I have always been with someone and I am just terrified. Advice please..and I know i'm pregnant so im emotional but it is what it is and I have to deal with it while I'm pregnant so please give me advice...

Answer Question
 
ktinaza

Asked by ktinaza at 4:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,230 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • bump 4 u...
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 4:39 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Girl pray about that thing..and yes you may be emotional but you have to do whats best for you and those babies...plus you may be having doubts bc being on your own with two is not going to be easy but there are programs out there to help you...I hope you find the answer you seek and good luck you can do it stay strong
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 4:42 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Your children deserve to be in a happy enviornment. To grow up with healthy happy thoughts, not afraid of the screaming and fighting after they go to bed at night, or the throwing of things, or the yelling that goes on. They shouldn't have to have fear inside when its time for dad to come home or when he's around. * all this stuff does affect the children* Think about your self esteem, your self worth.

    then give thought to going back to the same life style you have been living only difference is 2 children to protect and shield, and feeling stuck. Time to start the healing process and move forward doll.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 4:43 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Its hard to close a chapter that has been such a significant part of your life. It's probably just a fear of the unknown. It's okay to be uneasy about what the future may hold. Is he good to the kids? If so, then maybe you guys would be better as friends after enough time has passed.
    AustinsMommyMI

    Answer by AustinsMommyMI at 4:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I think alot of people stay because its familiar and comfortable. No one wants to be alone and no one wants their family to split. Right down pros and cons of staying with him and leaving him and im sure your answer will be in there. Good luck i can only imagine how scary it is to be a single parent but women do it and do it well so dont let fear keep you from doing what you know is best for not only you but you kids.

    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 4:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Its not you its him if you do what u suppose to do as far as the kids and the house and keeping him happy ure doing fine but if his not happy let him go its not only going to stress you out it will stress the kids out more can you honesyly sit here and say ure happy being with him dont be scared to lose him because of the kids because he doesnt care he has to be there regardless
    Marie111348

    Answer by Marie111348 at 4:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • It might hurt you know but in the future this can be a very good thing for you. I am in the same situation you are right now but don't have the "balls" to file those papers. You are very brave for doing so...also you are young and even though you have your little ones trust me there is nothing unhappier that being with someone who hurts you when there is probably someone better out there that will treat you a whole lot better.
    kittymom83

    Answer by kittymom83 at 4:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Most states won't allow pregnant women to divorce bc of the emotional state they are in. Don't rush it. Just wait until after the baby is born and take care of it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • The fear of leaving HAS to be less than the Pain of staying... the problem is - the very minute you look "leaving" in the face.... it looks scary and you FALSELY think that *IT* is the scariest thing you've seen yet..... THAT IS A LIE THAT FEAR WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE.

    Being alone is not a filthy, horrible term --- it's the first label you wear, and it will soon take on it's true form ~ Freedom - Freedom from abuse, meanness, mistrust, laziness and a one-sided relationship. Freedom from fear of what your children will learn, freedom from the emotional abuse and the mental heartbreak that you go through when you feel like he's not being supportive of you at all and never will be.

    Filing those papers is a new chapter - and we get nervous because that chapter hasn't been written yet. The unknown appears scary when in reality - that's only an appearance .... the unknown is the future and it *IS* what we make it into.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:01 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Stay in prayer, and put it in God's hands. The answer will be revealed. You stated that you know you don't want to live with him again, due to the emotional abuse and laziness. It is hard to give advise when you don't know the full story, but It is understandable that you are emotional because you love him and you guy's have shared so much together.

    I say you guy's separate and if he wants this marriage with you to work, he has to show in actions change to better you guy's relationship.
    msplynae

    Answer by msplynae at 5:01 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.