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When am I ever going to be enough?

ok so Im 25 and im 25 weeks pregnant with my first child a boy. im in a relationship with the father....but I feel like just a window,you know something just to look through. the whole pregnancy started off bad long story short I have major trust issues but im trying to not let is them run this.So for the last 3 months ive felt like im never going to be enough,nothing i do is enough.there are days where i could just cry because i feel alone,that my unborn baby is the only one there trucking along with me everyday.And his father,my boyfriend could careless.his friends are more important,what he wants is more important,i dont seem to..we dont seem to exist or have a place in his world.and it hurts,i dont know what to do,do i give up and do this alone,do i stay silent and let it eat away at me.I want more than anything for my son to grow up with both parents in a loving environment but i cant do it by myself. maybe im all he'll ever have

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Asked by momma81611 at 11:15 PM on Apr. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You are good enough, your man is a pig. Id back off and wait for him to grow up. If he doesn't, find mr. Right. Let me tell you, I've had trust issues but I'm with the most wonderful guy-I have no doubts in my mind.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • Ok for starters, your boyfriend sounds like an immature prick, secondly you are pregnant and can get overly emotional. Do not overthink the situation. He's being an ASS period, it's not you or the baby.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:21 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • If your having doubts now, maybe you need to listen inside of your heart and know exactly how you feel about him. Not just if you really love him, but do you feel like he appreciate you enough, does he do enough for you? Then let your mind search out whether he is good for you and your son? Will he always be there? Will he help support you two/ Will he be a good father? If he's not going to step up and be there for the two of you, there is no reason why you need to feel you need to prolong the enevitable any longer than nessesary. There are plenty of good men out there, don't feel obligated to stick with one who is a "summer time" guy (Summer' a time he's there, summer times he isn't). Don't be his window, show him the door.

    Answer by pinwheel at 11:33 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I wouldnt wait around miserably waiting for change. I was in a similar situation when I was pregnant with my daughter. My husband now, then my boyfriend, had his priorities all out of line.He didnt seem to care about me or the baby, and was determined to do his own thing despite what I wanted or what was best for the baby. So I left. Didnt even bother explaining. I felt like i had wasted so much energy in the first place begging for him to care. Needless to say, 6 months later, he came around.i was very hesitant to let him in at first, but he slowly proved to me that he was willing to make this work. It took him losing me to realize i was worth keeping all along. Dont stick around and wait for a man to make you happy. Do whats best for your baby and yourself and work on making yourself happy!

    Answer by LeahsMommy361 at 11:38 PM on Apr. 27, 2011

  • I think you need to realize that what you want is not what is happening now and unless your BF is willing to try a little harder, it never will happen. Ideally every kid should have happy parents who love each other but realistically that is rare, consider what damage will be done to your future child if your BF doesn't try harder to be a good partner to you or dad to him/her.

    Answer by oahoah at 12:01 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • ditch the dickhead and forget him and be happy with your lil one alone .it will be better.

    Answer by elle71186 at 12:07 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I wouldn't stay. He sounds like a selfish person. Someone who only thinks of themselves is not going to be a very good partner in helping raise a baby.

    Answer by myree85 at 12:44 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Can you give some concrete examples of how he doesn't make room in his life for you? Or the baby? Emotions are high during pregnancy and for some this can cause depression. I say this because the 'window' analogy is a very common description from clinically depressed people. It would be a shame to ruin your relationship in the middle of your pregnancy. Talk to trusted friends that really know you. Get multiple perspectives. Check web MD for the list of depression symptoms, and see if it fits. You may need to talk to your doctor or a psychiatrist. If your friends family and loved ones are backing up the he doesn't appreciate you story, than talk to him first. Try to work it out. If that doesn't happen... Time to leave him.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 9:29 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Details: he comes home from work jumps on his xbox to play with his friends this goes on for 8 hours or more ,I could be in the same room the only time he notices is if he's hungry or birthday came and went a week ago I got a happy birthday nothing else but his birthday had to have a price tag of 400 bucks for his car repairs,or should I say modifications.when I wanted just to go out to eat couldn't do itr last weekend even thoughhe asked me what I wanted to do,and this weekend he's going to a game with his friend and my birthday was a long time ago so its over now was his response.he's bought nothing for the baby except a 60.00 babies first pooh bear.I have to clean up the room which he destroys in a matter of minutes,get yelled at if I don't get his clothes out of the dryer as soon as they are done.when he calls and says what's for dinner I need to have an answer and it done by the time he gets home.

    Comment by momma81611 (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • You need to get out of this situation. Do it now while you still carry that baby inside you. Once the baby is born you will have yourself and the baby to worry about. If he decides to be a dad, he can do it without you being in a relationship with him.

    Answer by zradiogirl at 10:25 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

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