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2 Bumps

Has anyone ever got out of an abusive relationship?

How did you get over? Do you have kids with this person and do you allow him to to see them? How did you leave? Did it affect your kids?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I left with our son that we had together. It's hard as hell, trust me I know....My son is super clingy now. Bu it's better than seeing their mommy abused. I called my grandmother. I gave him weekends but because he "wants to kick it" and said he doesn't care I think I'm going to not even worry about it. My baby deserves better
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 3:03 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • i left an emotionally abusive man. he is very manipultive and was able to get 1 -4 hour visit and 2 overnight visits every week through the courts although we go back to court in july fo a final parenting plan. as for dd she is not even 2 and we left when she was 5 months (after my x hid her from me for 2 nights despite her being a primarily bf baby) she knows im mommy and screams when i hand her to daddy but loves coming home sp for her benefit i hope the judge sees shes better off with me
    mommy06and09

    Answer by mommy06and09 at 3:05 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I left one day when he went fishing. He was never bad to the kids just me. I bounced back pretty quick and never looked back. He is no longer abusive with anyone now. He was with me and his 2nd wife. I don't know about his 3rd, but he is not with his 7th and current wife.
    sweetangie79

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 3:06 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • It took time but I planned it well and moved out when he was working. I had three children and took them with me. They were much better afterward bc all the fighting stopped. He couldn't be bothered with seeing the kids. He was only in to himself.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:25 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I was in married to an alcoholic for 20+ years.  He was verbally abusive,as his drinking got worst through the years,  it became so bad -   At the age of 9 I had to let my child know why I wouldn't allow him to ride with his dad in the car.   I regret staying as long as I did.  It ended up damaging my now 20 year old kid.  I can't turn the hands of time back, and forgiving my self has been so difficult.  My son is 20 and now taking a similar path as my X - Today I was force to "tough Love" my son and kick him out of my home.  He watched me for years as I cowed down to his dad.  I was an enabler and co dependent, and worst of all my son witness a very weak mother and woman.  By the time I decided to leave, I believe I waited too long.  He didn't support his son or I when we left.  It's sad when a man prefers a bottle over the love of wife and son. Get out sooner than later.
    csjoy1

    Answer by csjoy1 at 4:56 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I had to leave town! Dude was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. 10 years later, even though I had married my dh and had 3 kids, I heard through the grapevine that he wanted to get back with me! Yeah right. lol.
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 5:27 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I was in a abusive (verbally and physically) relationship for a little over 3 years. It took me a while to leave because he'd convinced me I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to, which after him tearing my family apart was very true. My son and I ended up being homeless for 2 months, I found a non profit agency that helped abused women, they helped me get my first place, and furniture. He was arrested and jailed soon after on drug charges which gave me a year to get myself together. When he was released he tried to come back saying he'd made a big mistake but I was too strong to crumble. He's not involved in my sons life he doesnt support him or anything, I've moved on and my son was so young when we left he doesnt remember him.
    thelovelymzbre

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 11:54 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I had no children w/ him- and it wasn't until the 7th time I left that I actually didn't go back- b/c I finally testified after he tried to kill me. It sounds crazy, but the average DV victim actually does leave 7x. Anyway it was hard and I got pregnant right after, which was real hard since I never fully coped w/ what happened, and since now I just worry about the day he's released f/ jail. If my child was his (which thank god, she's not) I would move as far away as possible (I do now live across the country f/ him) and make sure to keep up the restraining order so he never saw her.
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 7:15 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

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