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2 Bumps

Empty Theats

I took my DS to the doctor yesterday morning. The waiting room was pretty crowded and there were kis running around all over the place. More than one mother threatened their kids with telling the Dr. to give them a shot if they didn't behave.
WHY would you do that?! No one likes getting shots, I get it. But it isn't a punishment! And when they DO need shots, what do you tell them? You're getting this because you were bad? You don't need to say it out loud if you have threatened them with it before... what else would the kids think? What's the ppint in instilling an uneccesary fear of doctors in your child? So they will sit down and shut ujp dor 15 minutes?
My son knows beforehand when he is or isn't getting shots. Does he like them? Absolutely not! But I prepare him for them. I tell him he needs them so he can be healthy and so he can go to school next year. Yes, he cries when he gets them. He whimpers and winces when he sees them co ming. But he does NOT run or fight or kick or scream or bite. He doesn't need three people holding him down. And when it's done I wipe his tears and tell him how brave he was, and what a good boy for sitting still.
the last three times I've been to the office there has been a child in another room screaming and beggeing not to get shots. Full blown hurricanes of fits. I can't help but think if their parents were more honest and supportive it might not happen.
Do you lie to your kids to get them to behave? And why?


Asked by Nicoles2LilRams at 6:07 AM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • No, no lies, no empty threats. My kids behave because they know I will follow thru on whatever I've told them. I think its mean to tell a child to behave or the doctor will give them a shot.

    Answer by meooma at 8:26 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • It's not just about using shots as an empty threat. It's about empty threats period. Parents who use threats that they will in no way use. End up with kids who just don't behave. After all why listen when they know they parents won't follow through. Also if you say are going to do this or that if they don't behave don't use something so ridiculous that even the child will know that in no way shape or form it's going to happen. For instance I heard this the other day. if you don't put your bike up I'll throw it away. The Child even called his Mom on that one. Really Mom? you're going to throw away my Bike? throw away all that money? don't think so. While the kid is basically a good kid will listen to and respect adults who mean what they say. This kid doesn't listen to or respects his Mom.

    Answer by daps at 8:05 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • My youngest SS(6) screams, begs, grabs for objects, and has to be held down to get his shots. Me and his father have always been honest when the time comes for shots. We explain to him why he has to have them and that if he sits still it will be over really quick, it doesn't matter. Where as my other 3 kids will whimper and cry when it is time for shots, but they sit there and take em without kicking or screaming.
    I have never used threats like what you say other mothers said at the doctors. And I never would. I agree with you. Any parent that does is wrong and only making things worst when they do have to go to the doctor and possibly get shots.

    Answer by firepony at 6:22 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • My SIL threatens with medicine and "bad girl shots" too... To me it's stupid. Of course my children don't get those things either way, so I wouldn't have to worry about the "when it's time" but to me, you should never use a threat you can't carry out! If I say something's going to happen, it's going to happen!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:12 PM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I don't like Doctors. Never have! I HAVE to go to the Doctor for the annual check ups as part of the preventive medicine practice. For me if you go to the Doctor is because you're not feeling OK. Once we had a child from Israel at the Peds with some kind of condition. How do I know this? Well, when we arrive to the office the receptionist straight forward that the baby in the office was very sick and ask us to wait outside and wait to be called. Later they took us to a different room. Crazy things going on at Dr's office. About the vaccines children are smart enough to know what vaccines are. They are afraid of the pain. I know that nurses and doctors exist by the millions but only a few are good when it comes to administering the shots. Once I couldn't believe why did the shot hurt so much. Later I found out that the nurse was fired after complaints of patients.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Ok so, I can agree with firepony and MMXI in that every child is different and that for some kids the pain is worse. Very v alid points.
    But MMXI you honestly don't see how treating something necessary as a punishment, as something to be avoided, as something that could be prevented by good behavior wouldn't make it harder to go through and much scarier for the child when they eventually DO need to get them?

    Comment by Nicoles2LilRams (original poster) at 7:07 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I don't necceaarily lie to my son but i wait til the the lst moment to tell him b/c he is one of those children that will fight and scream no matter how much consoling he gets. I am sympathetic to it tho i was the same way as a kid. i had/have sever allergies an they had to strap me down as a kid to do the test.Then i had to have shots every other day for five years. But i never threaten him with getting them. I am used to them now. He is getting a little better at it. But No i think telling them they are getting a shot is wrong for a punishment. Maybe you should have told those parents to shut up or you'd give them a root canal! lol

    Answer by amberpaiz at 7:36 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I agree with daps!!! My SO's ex has always used 'empty threats' with her kids. She can't understand why they don't/won't listen to her, and why they laugh in her face, when she's really mad at them. Uh.....duh!

    Answer by jucyfrut at 8:29 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • No empty threats. My kids behave because they know I will follow through.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:32 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • hoestly it is an easy way to clam the situation, I have done it, and it isnt life damaging... not a huge deal

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 2:51 PM on Apr. 28, 2011