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54 days! Come on already... adult content

It's 54 days since my DH and I were intimate, or had sex. I had a hyster so it's not like we have to avoid my period.

He says he wants to, that he's in the mood, aroused and so on...and then he just sleeps. The more time that passes, the more I start to believe he does need some kind of porn for stimulation and I may just not be enough, or even what he wants at all. I can't even hold his attention long enough to have him help me, help myself, nor does he care that I help myself.

Believe me ladies, I've tried everything. I've tried to seduce him, make him aroused several times during the day, and I'v told him directly to his face "I WANT TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT!"

He's always told me he's not the "typical guy" who thinks about or wants sex ALL the time, and even tho he had a porn addiction doesn't mean he has a sex addiction, which he clearly does not. He says it bothers him too that we don't have sex, but it clearly does not.

Am I making too big of a deal out of this? I'm tired of feeling rejected, and after everything that he's done and that we've been through this doesn't help...

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daina82

Asked by daina82 at 9:07 AM on Apr. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (601 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Nope, I think you are right on. if he is addicted to porn, time to unplug the internet and hide the DVDs for a few days..
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:10 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • yeah i agree with zoejains hide that and see what happens
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 9:11 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Could it be possible he has ED and just doesn't want you to know about it?
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • I wouldn't look at it as you're not good enough for him. I'm a firm believer in switching things up. Do you have a TV in your bedroom? Do you have anything against watching an adult movie together?

    Think about it like this. Take your absolute favorite food in the whole wide world, let's say steak for instance. But you eat steak every night for years. You love steak & want to keep eating it, but you also want to switch it up a little bit, so you pour some garlic butter on it. Voila - same steak - totally new taste....

    ...I forget where I was going. All I know is I want steak now.
    SleepyCupcake

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 9:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • He's got a Porn addiction, that IS a problem,
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:18 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • He is a recovering porn addict so for now adult movies are out. Too many times I know he's looked at or watched porn and then had sex with me and I'd rather have no sex then sex caused by his porn addiction. That kind of sex means nothing to me.\

    As for switching things up, I am all for that but HE is the one who doesn't like trying or doing new things. If w don't have sex in our bed, then we don't have sex...period.

    He doesn't appear to have ED. I can get and keep him aroused...
    daina82

    Comment by daina82 (original poster) at 9:20 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • get a vibrator, start giving him blow job & use the vibrator on yourself while you are going down on him. Don't even ask if he wants it, TELL him you are going to give him a blow job & he is just going to sit there & enjoy it. This way, you both get off & he is happily getting a blow job...

    RARELY will a man pass up a blow job...it always works in my house!

    He may be struggling with insecurity issues. Maybe he wants to have sex, but is too lazy to initiate, or too embarrassed to. If you walk over to him, pull his pants down & put his penis in your mouth...will he object? I highly doubt it....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:22 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • It sounds like he needs professional help, sweetie. Maybe couple's therapy?
    SleepyCupcake

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 9:23 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • We've been in marriage counceling since January for his online porn activity and I don't know what the hell is going on with that.

    Samurai chica-of course he's not going to turn down a blow job and I have been as blunt as possible with them. I love going down on him an would sometimes rather do that than have sex...but I'm not going to use a vibrator while he gets oral just so he can fall asleep.
    daina82

    Comment by daina82 (original poster) at 9:40 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

  • Sex is expected in a marital relationship. I'd remind him of his duty. 54 days is a long time. He can make time for this unless he has a medical problem. Ask him what you are supposed to do about your needs if he won't help? I'm pretty insecure so I'd be asking him if there is someone else he's giving it up to? I'm not saying your's is cheating but I'd ask it as part of a process of elimination to find the answer to the problem.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:32 AM on Apr. 28, 2011

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